Month: August 2023

Finding Your Forever Person

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

Once while chatting with my mom over the phone she mentioned the struggle of some young Catholics at her parish who were venturing into the realm of online dating. Some were also making appearances at local cocktail bars and anywhere else one might encounter a potential love interest. After hanging up with my mom, my husband and I racked our brains for places that young single Catholics should go to find their future spouse. This conversation ended with us both chuckling, not because loneliness isn’t one of the most formidable obstacles life could throw at a person but because there are only two tried and true solutions to it.

  1. Go to Church.
  2. Pray about it.

These are hardly the answers that I wanted during my months of singleness. I too spent my days texting strangers from various dating sites with seemingly indistinct matching algorithms and throwing myself into every public and social engagement I could find in the hopes of miraculously bumping into Mr. Right. None of it worked. All the online conversations were perfectly fine and perfectly disappointing. The in person dates that I attended were inorganic at best and epically awkward at worst. In every one of these scenarios I was hit with a strong sense that my date was expecting to be wooed rather than do the wooing which never quite fit with my traditional sensibilities. Suffice to say that I hadn’t come remotely close to finding my husband at this juncture.

This slew of mediocre interactions eventually led me to throw up my hands and delete all of my online accounts. I gave up my search for the perfect spouse. Either God would send him to me in His own time or I would die alone. Ironically, that’s all I needed to do the entire time. I’ve since realized that God has a bit of a sense of humor. A few months later, in one last ditch effort which I fully expected to fail, I met the love of my life. I didn’t catch his eye at the local hipster bar or at some house party at 2am. Our paths crossed for the first time at the Easter Vigil mass where he watched me be received into the Church. God’s timing is perfect and I believe this is exactly as He intended.

I am by no means suggesting that all the single Catholics in the world should simply stay home and wait for the perfect spouse to come knocking on the door. You need to go out into the world and be seen fully participating in your community. However, so often I think we underestimate the blessings which come from participating in our parish community in particular. If you want to find a virtuous spouse you need to go to where the virtuous people are and start acting like one yourself. It’s unlikely that you’ll find a good Catholic lady or gentleman while partying with your work buddies at 2am. 

Thus, go to Church. Be as involved in your parish community as you possibly can. Become a visible and active member of your Church. Pray that God sends you your spouse and trust that those prayers will be answered in His timing. 

Rainy Day in the Midwest

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During my time in the Midwest I’ve come to a new understanding of terms like “humidity” and “lake effect” but while I do still crave the beloved Rocky Mountain vistas that I grew up falling in love with, this place is not without its charms. As the hubby and I discovered during a tandem kayaking outing near Lake Michigan, even the Midwestern drizzle can be a blessing after a run of summer heat. It was the perfect misty day for some quiet morning exploration out on the water.

Rebranding “Churchy”

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I think it’s time we Catholics take back the vocabulary surrounding our faith. When we hear the term “churchy” it’s tempting to wrinkle our noses as if encountering some smelly mystery substance stuck to the bottom of our shoe. That’s how society treats it. Even during our Catholic marriage prep, the couples running the two day discussion showered us with promises that they wouldn’t let the weekend get too “churchy.” It’s Catholic marriage prep. One of its chief purposes is to be churchy.

We are constantly watering down our beautiful, glorious faith in order to make it more palatable to non-believers but this is backwards. We are called to bring souls to the Church, not the other way around. As Catholics everything we do should possess an element of churchiness because our faith is more than Sunday worship. It’s a way of life and informs every decision we make. I refuse to stifle my love of Christ to accommodate the feelings and comfort of someone else. I may not be everyone’s best friend. I may say and do things that some people find upsetting. Many years from now I may not be famous or loved by all but I hope that the people who do know me remember how churchy I was.

Take a Hike

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Even amid busy Indiana summers, full of fairs and festivals, one can still find time to get away from it all and take a hike. God’s blessings smile in every color when out in nature. On this particular outing I surprised both my husband and I upon successfully identifying various edible berries and mushrooms along the way.

Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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Photo by MART PRODUCTION

Amid all the hustle and bustle of life there are a few days throughout the year during which attendance is required at Catholic mass in addition to our regular Sunday worship. These holy days of obligation are days of rest, reflection and renewed devotion to our Lord and today is one such day. Today we celebrate the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Mary the most holy mother of God is also named the new Eve in the Catholic Church. Just as our fall was brought forth in the Garden of Eden by a woman, so also was our salvation born from a woman’s womb. In this way men and women were both redeemed. 

Mary is also considered the mother of the Church. Christ confirmed this in His last words to Mary and John while on the cross. Like Christ, Mary was free from original sin and unfailing in her devotion to God. For all of these reasons, Mary’s body was not subjected to an earthly death but was assumed into Heaven, body and soul. She is now everyone’s mother and protector as Queen of the Universe. 

A Lesson in Humility

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Our first year of marriage has come and gone but we continue to fall in love with each other every day. Despite new challenges like my husband’s shifting work schedule and the discovery of a leaky basement, this year has been full to the brim with blessings, not least of which came with my husband’s move from a tedious sales job to a position in our local law enforcement. His days were spent in physically and mentally rigorous training, his evenings were occupied with study of Indiana state law and his weekends occasionally took him away to southern Indiana for yet more training. 

Amid all this, regular house upkeep generally fell to me and it could not have been better timing. In our first year of life together I had the privilege of a crash course on living for someone else. I was often tasked with cooking dinner, doing the dishes, tidying the house and generally maintaining a warm and inviting place for my husband to come home to every day in addition to my own day job. I discovered that, excluding a few exceptionally frustrating days here and there, I was happy to do it. The work that I did in my off hours away from the mill hardly ever felt like work. 

That’s not to say that I always succeeded in carrying out my wifely home duties to perfection. As stated earlier, this was a crash course in marriage immediately following several years of living by myself for myself and I am still learning how to be a good wife. I still catch myself falling into lazy habits on occasion and craving a little ‘me time’ with a good book. However, as a general rule, it’s so much easier to motivate to put a nice meal on the table and keep the house tidy when there’s someone else around to enjoy it too. Cooking and cleaning for myself before I was married always felt like a chore despite my love of good home cooking. Now it’s something I get to do for us. 

Even on those bad days when I just don’t feel like doing anything, I’ve learned to turn to God for help. “Lord, help me to be a good wife” is my constant prayer. My husband is living proof that God hears and answers all prayers even if not in the way we expect. With His help I can do anything. Perhaps that’s why He packed our first year of marriage with so many minor hurdles (house repair and scheduling difficulties) to overcome together. After years of living and succeeding on our own, we now get to do so as a team. This first year of married life was a beautiful lesson in humility which I am grateful to be constantly relearning. 

Momma Duck

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This flustered momma somehow stumbled into our yard, closely trailed by a large and nervous flock of ducklings. Her twittering brood of offspring hardly took their eyes off her and shuffled behind her as if all pulled by the same invisible string. Even in nature, the gravity of a mother to her young is plain to see.

Baptized on Holy Ground

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I am officially a godmother! We recently returned from a weekend trip to Colorado where we gathered with friends and family to witness the baptism of our beautiful baby niece in an incredibly reverent and holy Catholic mass. Since the minute she was born, this little girl has been surrounded by grace. Her mother was very recently confessed at the time of her birth, ensuring that this baby was born from the womb of a woman in friendship with God. One of their very first outings as a family was to mass, a weekly ritual in which this sweet infant has been in regular attendance ever since. When we all met in Colorado for her celebration, it was clear that her entrance into the Catholic Church was also especially blessed. 

The baptism was held at St. John Vianney Theological Seminary in Christ the King Chapel in Denver, CO. This is one of two seminaries in the state of Colorado and complete with all the beauty one would expect to find on such holy ground. Entering this sacred space, my thoughts turned to all the holy men who had prayed here. In fact, it is said that the architect who designed the seminary was not a Catholic when he began, but after doing the research to ensure it was a liturgically-correct design, he was converted to the Church founded by Jesus Christ upon its completion. 

Saints rendered in exquisite stained glass silently watched the proceedings from beneath graceful stone arches and vaulted ceilings. Our niece was baptized in holy water before a stunning gold and marble altar. Here, in this sacred space where priests are made, one baby girl was welcomed into the Lord’s protection in a full baptism mass. This singular ceremony was a tremendous gift from the presiding priest, a formator at the seminary. He is also  the man who had walked my sister and her husband through RCIA and welcomed them into the Church and joined them together in holy matrimony just two years  ago. Now, all three of them met again to celebrate the fruit of that conversion and union. 

For her part, our sweet little niece dozed soundly in her mother’s arms throughout the entire mass, perfectly at ease in the Lord’s house. She didn’t even make a peep when the cool holy water of baptism was poured over her tiny head, as if somehow conscious of the Lord’s perfect love and mercy washing over her. Her tiny angelic face was untroubled as she received her passport to Heaven before an assembly of smiling grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, and of course the cloud of witnesses celebrating the inauguration of a new member to the faith of Christ.

Festival Season

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‘Tis the season for celebration and good cheer in the Midwest. Here, one can experience everything from the county fair demolition derbie to pierogi culture in Whiting, IN to the delicious Italian ice served at Italian Fest all in a single weekend. We were blessed to be able to make the rounds to all of our favorite festivals this year where we of course enjoyed the cuisine and the shows unique to each.