The Gift of a Good Confession

Photo by Sami Aksu

I’ve never been a natural social butterfly and have put forth a concerted effort to develop and maintain passable people skills over the years. I’ll be the first to say that I’m much better in writing and verbal communication has often been a source of tremendous anxiety in my life. I’m the sort of person who googles neighborhood BBQ etiquette and rehearses grocery store checkout small talk in advance. 

As such, I made a similar habit when I first started attending confession after being received fully into the Catholic Church. In my examination of conscience I would write a short script of talking points to bring up in the confessional and would recite the following prayer. “Lord, help me to give a full and honest confession.” In the confession line I would rehearse my lines until my turn arrived. 

While these were all perfectly valid confessions and none of these practices are technically wrong, I often left the confessional feeling like I had somewhat missed the mark and wishing that I had been more articulate. Recently it occurred to me that perhaps this feeling had very little to do with the precise words I said, or failed to say, but that it was instead faith and trust in God that I was lacking. I was trying so hard to give a “good” confession that I forgot the most important part. I asked God to help me every time without truly leaning into His healing power, trusting that He would give me the words I needed.

I’ve since revised my process for preparing for the sacrament of reconciliation. I still write out an examination of conscience, though it’s now a few brief bulleted reminders rather than a full script. I also recite the same prayer but with this addition. “Lord, send your holy spirit to give me the words I need to lay my sins bare at your feet so that I may properly atone for them.” The first time I said this prayer in the confession line I was blessed with a new sense of calm and I ceased my nervous rehearsing. My mind was totally clear when I entered the confessional. It was one of the most honest confessions I’ve ever given. 

I still catch myself slipping into old habits on occasion and obsessing over how to get the words out right. It’s a work in progress but, as I discovered, atonement for our sins and absolution from them is most complete when we truly, totally and faithfully relinquish our human failings to God. Reconciliation is a sacrament, an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. Of course, we need to properly prepare ourselves to receive it with a focused and genuine examination of our past wrongs but then we must give ourselves over entirely to Him.

Blessed November

After a very surprising and substantial snow on Halloween night which hindered trick-or-treaters from fully flaunting their costumes, Indiana has experienced a bit of a warm spell in November. Although I’m partial to snowy white frozen winters in the mountains, there’s no denying that the Midwest has it’s charms particularly when dressed up in its’ autumn colors. Throughout the month we happily enjoyed crisp afternoon strolls like this one. I pray everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I Aim to Preach

Photo by David Eucaristía

There is a constant fear among many Catholics today of being too preachy. We all go around walking on eggshells, terrified of coming across too strongly in our faith or upsetting anyone with our trust in the one true God. Even some of the most devoted Catholics have been conditioned to keep their religious convictions out of social and professional settings at all costs. This is a huge disservice to Christ. We are His disciples, called to go out into the world and profess the word of God. This is not to be done in a prideful or overly pious way but it should be done. If we truly believe in the Holy Trinity, that Christ died on the cross for our sins and is ever present in the Eucharist when we go to mass, our mission in life must be to help as many people receive Him as possible. 

If we fully accept those Catholic teachings we also understand the consequences of turning away from God when we sin which is why we so often run to confession. Rather than striving for vast earthly wealth and success, Catholics seek to achieve eternal salvation which is found only in Christ. We all have good in us but we are not all going to Heaven. God created us in His image. Each and every human being on the planet is proof of His miraculous work and love. However, in order to obtain salvation we must fully and freely choose Him and live in accordance with His teachings. We should preach our faith to anyone who will listen to save as many souls as we can while in this earthly life.

Our faith is not reserved for Sunday worship alone. We Catholics should not hide who we are and what we believe from our friends and coworkers. Of course, launching into a full homily every time you’re out to lunch isn’t likely to win many hearts but small, seemingly ordinary invitations can spark a question or conversation that can lead to much more. Perhaps it’s as simple as sharing in your office team meeting that the reason for your upcoming vacation is a trip to visit family for the baptism of a new niece or nephew. Maybe it’s as easy as noting your intention to go to mass when asked about your weekend plans. If you’re feeling especially outgoing you could even extend a formal invitation for friends to join you at that mass. We need only plant small seeds and trust God to do the rest. I believe that going through life with a holier than thou attitude is the mark of a false Catholic just as is concealing our faith among non-believers. In order to truly live out our faith we must do so publicly. It should be obvious to those around us, not because we live with our noses in the air, but by the truth we speak, the modest way we dress and the compassionate things we do everyday to share God’s love.

New Friends at the Farm

In addition to wooing us with the dazzling Indiana summer greenery and wowing us with countless Colorado Rocky Mountain vistas, sometimes God simply sends us new friends in unexpected places. These pictures were snapped while out to brunch at a local winery. Four Corners Winery, farm turned winery and wedding venue, is home to a number of neighborly farmyard creatures while also serving delicious wine.

Chastity or Abstinence?

Photo by Rainstorm Photo

This is surely a simple question for most Catholics in the world. When fully engrossed in the faith, the contrast between chastity and abstinence is obvious and in light of that knowledge there is but one correct choice whether someone be called to marriage or religious life. However, before coming to the Church I saw little difference and even thought the two to be synonymous. In all honesty, chastity wasn’t a term in my vocabulary. I’d certainly heard the word, mostly in reference to the cumbersome accessory maid Marian wore in the comedy, Robinhood: Men in Tights, and I had a general, albeit incomplete, understanding of what it meant. 

Far more often in real life applications I had heard reference to abstinence. This was the term used in school health class and by medical professionals, always championed as the single totally foolproof method for avoiding a surprise, unwanted pregnancy. There lies the difference. Abstinence is birth control. Engaging in this practice is to abstain from sexual activity, not for any moral or spiritual reason, but rather for the sole purpose of avoiding the conception of new life which might result from that activity. Though they are often lumped together, this is actually in total opposition to the virtue of chastity. 

It wasn’t until a Catholic friend once politely corrected my terminology on the subject that I considered the possibility that there was any meaningful difference. All Catholics, regardless of their vocation, are called to remain chaste. We reserve the sexual embrace only for sacramental, holy marriage for the purposes of renewing marriage vows and conceiving children. Of course, this means that those in religious life are indeed called to abstain from sexual activity  as they serve God directly through work in the Church rather than through service to a spouse. This is also where natural family planning (NFP) comes into play for married couples in order to make informed decisions about starting families. 

However, at the core of this Catholic teaching, we are always open to the possibility of life, no matter what kind of service God has called us to. We do not put barriers between ourselves and God’s will whether that be through hormonal birth control or total abstinence for the sake of avoiding pregnancy. We must always be open and willing to receive God’s gifts and blessings. 

From the Mountain Top

I’ve previously mentioned on this blog, my desire to celebrate mass in the mountains with my parents and our family priest friend. God hears and answers all prayers in His own way and His own time. During a Colorado trip this summer we were finally able to go hiking with the Father. For many reasons, this experience was a beautiful and singular gift from God. Many of our mountain adventures take us to remote lakes in the clouds with stunning views along the way but on this occasion we chose a special destination. Mount Sopris proudly stands at the head of our little valley, a picturesque set of twin peaks which is in view from almost anywhere in my hometown. While this isn’t the tallest mountain in the area it is certainly among the more formidable hikes around. It is a 14 mile trek round trip over a variety of rugged terrain. 

Growing up and before any of my family were even entertaining ideas of coming to the faith, Mount Sopris stood as a perpetual reminder of the beauty of creation whenever we happened to glance up the valley. As my sister and I grew older it also became a testament to our determination, our own personal Everest, as we both reached the summit for the first time when I was just 10 years old. At the time, it was possibly the hardest thing I’d ever done and my skinny legs were shaking when we arrived back at the truck that day. However, I never regretted having done it. On the contrary, after wiping away a few tears as well as plenty of dirt and sweat, I felt like I was still standing on top of the world, realizing for the first time that I can do hard things. 

Since that initial trip up Sopris as kids, my family has completed this hike several times, though the last instance was when I was in high school. As such, we thought it a fitting experience to share with my husband and our priest friend, both relatively new to Glenwood Springs and never having done this hike before. Our first small blessing came with the priest’s ability to clear his schedule for the occasion. This is hardly a short afternoon jaunt into the wilderness. Thankfully, the day was wide open for our adventure. We began our journey in relative darkness, setting out from the trailhead at 2am to avoid the long upward slog in the midday sun and to reach the top by sunrise. While the rest of the world slept soundly in the valley below, we hiked to the light of a super blue moon on a cloudless summer night. This was the second blessing. The small pools of light from our headlamps were almost unnecessary at times and paled in comparison to the shining silver orb floating in the sky above us. 

My husband and the priest both reached the summit just as the Sun sliced through the dregs of evening while my parents and I arrived a short ten minutes later. There is no comparable feeling to standing on top of the world when the Sun comes up, watching it bathe everything in honey light. Its warmth was slow to reach us as we stood on the summit but we’d packed for the occasion and quickly donned thick fleece jackets and pulled knit hats over our ears. Once everyone had caught their breath, the men set to work preparing a makeshift altar and the Father pulled a chasuble from his pack. 

Before my conversion to the faith I often wondered why anyone would need church when we have nature. What better way could there be to worship than to simply witness the wonders of God’s creation. I’ve since come to realize the errors in my thinking, now with a much more complete understanding of the happenings in a Catholic mass and Catholic sacraments. To participate in the sacrifice of the mass is always a miraculous blessing but this reverent ceremony on the peak of Mount Sopris, a beloved monument of my childhood, in which the priest consecrated the entire valley below us was a gift I will never forget. The first time I ever stood on this mountain I’d been a child. Now, I returned as a baby Catholic, a child in God’s eyes.

Camouflage

As I was scrolling through photos today I stumbled across this little guy a bit like when we stumbled across him while hiking near Colorado National Monument. Although he politely posed for photos we almost missed this master of disguise due to his natural camouflage. God in His infinite creativity even thought to bless the world with pleasant little froggy friends like this.

All Saints’ Day

Nearly everyone knows about All Hallows’ Eve. Every child in America looks forward to Halloween, the last day in October when they get to bundle up under costumes of their favorite characters and flit all over town in search of tasty treats to eat. However, far fewer people are familiar with the Catholic feast which always comes the day after Halloween. All Saints’ Day is a Catholic holy day of obligation meaning that attendance at church is required. 

Catholics flock to church on this particular solemnity to celebrate all the saints, both known and unknown. Even non-believers are familiar with some of the greats; Saint Peter, Saint Paul, Saint Joseph to name a few. These are big ‘S’ Saints. Their sainthood has been formally declared by the Holy Father, the Pope, after careful examination of a series of miracles attributed to each of these people. However, one hardly has to be famous in order to become a saint in the eyes of God. There are hundreds of Saints officially acknowledged and celebrated by the Catholic Church and there are countless more that remain unknown but by those who knew them in life. All those who reside with God in heaven have achieved sainthood through virtuous lives or purification of purgatory, regardless of their renown here on earth. 

We tend to confuse our terminology by saying we pray to Saint Anthony for our lost keys or to Saint Mary Magdalene for continued conversion. In truth, we Catholics only ever pray to God as we worship the one true God, fully present in the holy trinity. No saint, famous or otherwise, can answer our prayers. We believe that all of these holy people are now in heaven and therefore closest to God. By this proximity, they have God’s ear in a sense and are capable of interceding for us. When we invoke specific saints in our lives we ask for their intercessions only, that they might implore God to help us in our need. Today, we honor all of them for this assistance.