Month: March 2024

Passion of the Christ

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Photo by jerry South

Growing up away from the Church I spent most of my life happily ignorant of the trials Christ faced in His life. I certainly heard the bible stories and had a basic knowledge of the crucifixion and resurrection but even after coming to the faith, these stories always felt quite far removed from my own life and experiences. I understood the teachings of the Church but lacked context for them. 

After meeting my husband I had the opportunity to join him and his family in some of their holy week traditions. One in particular remains etched in my memory. Two years ago I watched Passion of the Christ for the first time with my husband and his parents. I’ve never been one to get emotional for a movie, even particularly gut wrenching scenes and I was fairly certain that this film would be similar despite my mother in law kindly equipping me with my own box of tissues just in case. I could not have been more wrong. The tissues were indeed a movie watching necessity in this case. 

Although Passion of the Christ is an engaging and well produced film that wasn’t what caught my attention. For me it was my first true glimpse into Christs’ death on the cross and the horrors which preceded it. I was shocked at the gore and cruelty shown throughout the movie as I suspect was the intent of the film makers. The long, painful, bloody path which brought Christ to death on the cross is shocking. We should be repulsed by what was done to Him and by the savage nature in which it was done. It should stir feelings of utmost gratitude to the one who endured all that, every kind of human torment, so that we could be saved. 

It’s easy to hang our heads in memory of this sacrifice when we go to mass and then move on with the rest of our day. It’s easy to consider the story of the crucifixion without meditating on the all consuming agony each and every step must have cost Him. This is pain the likes of which most of us will never know and, truth be told, sometimes we don’t want to think about it. We’re all generally good people after all, just doing the best we can. How could we possibly have done anything so egregious as to incur such a debt for our souls? But that’s just it.

We’re only human, flawed and fallen. Each and every sin, no matter how small, takes us away from the Father. We hurt and betray Him every day in seemingly insignificant ways but He loves us anyway. He is ever seeking to draw us closer to Him because He loves us unconditionally, regardless of our faults on earth. We are truly blessed to never need to wonder how much our Father loves us. The answer is found in every depiction of Christ crucified. Today, on Good Friday, that is what we ought to remember. We can be humbled to know that we are so adored by God who suffered His only begotten Son to die brutally on the cross for us.

Palm Sunday: Making Use of Your Palms

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Photo by palm-cross

Yesterday Catholics everywhere celebrated Palm Sunday, announcing the triumphant arrival of Christ in Jerusalem. During this joyous mass we receive special blessings as well as blessed palm branches like the ones laid in Christ’s path as we welcome the start of Holy Week. Because these palms are blessed they cannot be disposed of like other foliage we might use to adorn our homes. They can be buried but ideally, we will save them to be burned for next year’s Ash Wednesday ashes. 

As such, I usually prefer to keep track of them by shaping them into small crosses which are then displayed on my bookshelves for the remainder of the year. You can learn how to do this yourself here. The key is to shape your cross before your palms have dried out. This can also be a fun Holy Week craft to share with the kiddos. Though this is a solemn week, I pray everyone can use it as an opportunity to grow in holiness and closeness to Christ as we approach the Easter season.

Before the Blessed Sacrament

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Though this Lenten season has been packed with additional prayer and activity, I never miss an opportunity to sit in silent adoration at one of our parish Lenten Vespers services. Christ truly present in the Eucharist is gloriously exposed in a gold monstrance on the altar, the massive sanctuary lit by dozens of flickering candles. It was during one of these services this year that I had a wonderful epiphany. I had arrived to Vespers a bit frazzled that evening, having practically run straight from work to the Lent soup dinner to serve fellow parishioners for a simple shared meal. However, sitting in that darkened church and beholding the blessed sacrament, I was overcome with intense joy and was incredibly humbled to participate in all these things. I was shocked at the charity of my fellow parishioners at the soup dinner and could think of no greater blessing than to be able to quietly witness Christ that evening on the altar.

A Busy Lent

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I confess that I have been deeply unmotivated to write anything for this blog lately. Our schedule has been booked solid since the beginning of February and shows no signs of easing up until mid April. This year we have taken on a myriad of new responsibilities at church. We continued our usual tradition of orchestrating the weekly Lenten soup dinners and Vespers services at our home parish. We also very recently took on the positions of the marriage prep coordinators for our church. I’ve continued my habit of playing my flute with a small ensemble group at mass as accompaniment to the hymns once a month. Additionally, my husband was just initiated into the Knights of Columbus as a third degree Knight and joined a casual hockey league with work friends this year. I’m proud to say his team won the championship game! 

Amid all of the meetings, dinners, retreats, rehearsals, practices and two full time jobs, we are also rearranging our home to welcome family member number three. Our friends and family blessed us with a beautiful and incredibly generous baby shower. Even my extended family from Colorado flew out for the celebration. Our little house is now stacked high with boxes of every shape and size containing anything a baby might need. My husband has been spending his days off assembling nursery furniture and there’s still so much to unpack.

All this is to say that the hubby and I are wonderfully blessed but also very tired. My usual 5:30 am writing hour a few times a week before work always gets a bit squished or forgotten these days. Waking up so early has definitely become more challenging with pregnancy. Though I’m still a morning person, the process of becoming a functional human being every day seems to just take a little longer than it used to. 

Though this Lent has certainly been a time of increased fasting, almsgiving and prayer for us, there have been days when I think we both lost the thread of the season simply due to our ambitious schedule. My mom mentioned over the phone the other day that this has been a hard Lent and I have to agree. This wasn’t precisely the Lent either of us had envisioned when my husband and I were discussing our plans for the season. 

However, I do think it was one of spiritual growth for us both.By virtue of the miraculous blessing of the baby girl in my belly and our new efforts in our parish marriage prep ministry, we were able to draw into a much deeper understanding of the sacramental bond between man, wife and God. We had countless discussions this year pertaining to the raising of our little girl and how we might set her on a holy path. I also found immense peace and joy in our Lenten Vespers services and was totally humbled by the charity of others at times as I was blessed with an army of dutiful church ladies to help supply food for the simple soup dinners. It has been a busy Lent and, often an exhausting one, but I feel blessed to have experienced it all. 

All the Signs You Need

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Every hiker knows to keep an eye out for rock cairns along particularly rugged trails. The little mounds of stone serve as markers indicating the correct path to take when the trail is difficult to see. Growing up I always treated this as a most delightful scavenger hunt, trying to find all of them before we reached our destination. Life is very similar. If we allow ourselves to get stuck trudging along with our eyes to the ground for too long, we’ll often miss the signs God sends us along the way. If we look up every now and then we’ll find that He’s already sent us all the signs we need.

Mirth is Biblical

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Photo by Aleksandr Balandin

I think there is a common misconception today among Catholics and atheists alike that to be considered holy one must completely forsake sweets, alcohol, silly movies and in general, all things remotely humorous or pleasurable. This is simply not how God calls us to live. We are not to eat or drink to excess. We are not to dress or behave immodestly and we are not to tempt ourselves or others to sin by consuming lude or sacrilegious content. We Catholics believe in moderation, that most things can be beneficial in the proper doses. Contrary to popular belief, we are not a humorless bunch of prudish killjoys.

Cracking open a beer after a long day or relishing a whiskey on the rocks with friends is hardly verboten. Likewise, there is no ban on an after dinner slice of chocolate cake every once in a while. Breaking the ice in an intense game of cards with a few well timed, good natured jokes isn’t forbidden. On the contrary, mirth is entirely biblical. We are called to approach all of these things with kindness and joy and thanksgiving to God. Obviously, we Catholics are dedicated to avoiding the worship of false gods including addiction. It is only when these earthly pleasures become occasions of sin or temptation to sin that we must excuse ourselves from the fun.  

Of course, during this season of Lent we are also called to heighten our efforts regarding fasting, almsgiving and prayer. This means that many of us are at least periodically or temporarily forgoing sweets or alcohol or a number of other enjoyable treats and habits in order to make room in our lives for increased faith and reflection. These are all ways in which we can maintain properly ordered lives which are centered around Christ. They are intended to bring us into a deeper relationship with God and haven’t been laid down by the Church simply to make us miserable for 40 days.

Although everyone on the planet has experienced suffering and hardship in some capacity and certainly will again, God did not create us for lives of pure drudgery. Every single human on earth has a cross to bear. How we choose to take them up is a reflection of our faith. When left to our own devices it’s easy for anyone to get bogged down by feelings of fear, exhaustion, or even rage at all the problems life likes to throw our way. We Catholics are not immune to these feelings but we also look to Christ as an example on those bad days and strive toward eternal salvation through every hurdle. Of course, we fall short just like everyone else but in the end we seek to continue to take up these crosses willingly and even with jubilation as we give these struggles up to God because we trust in Him.  

Indeed, a Catholic life is one of constant service and sacrifice but also one of joy and mirth and love in equal measure. I pray for all those who have yet to experience the unparalleled bliss of submitting to God’s will.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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Everyone on the planet can relate to this struggle, the overwhelming pressure of being caught in an impossible situation by no fault of your own and with no good options in sight. It can feel as if the whole world rests on your shoulders alone, as if the universe is imploding with you at the center of the chaos. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is a monumental burden for anyone to bear. Blessedly, my days there have been few and far between. I haven’t often found myself resigned to these impossible situations but throughout my life I’ve known a number of people who have.

My parents were the first example. Throughout our childhood my sister and I were well provided for though this wasn’t always a simple task for my parents. I know there were days when my parents felt the weight of keeping the lights on and food on the table every night, especially after the 2008 recession. My sister and I were shielded from the brunt of these troubles but we were aware of them. Christmas and birthday gifts always seemed extra special with the understanding that they didn’t necessarily come easily and from a very young age we learned the value of gratitude. We loved our parents for all of this and made a habit of saying “thank you”often in our house. 

Today, the same stress rings in my sister’s voice over the phone. She is several years deep in the marathon called medical school while also discovering how to be a mother for the very first time. Her entire life she’s dreamed of helping people through medicine and, for her, it truly is a calling from God. Unfortunately, it’s a dream which demands enormous expenses. My sister truly cannot afford to flunk out of medical school. She is under immense pressure to pass difficult exams and gain hands-on experience all while constantly terrified of neglecting the duties of motherhood. Of course, everyone who knows her is fully confident in her ability to excel in both areas of her life and she’s been blessed with a kind and supportive husband to help her through this struggle.

I have never had to do anything half as demanding as this and so far I’ve even managed to avoid the money stresses which weighed on my parents’ shoulders when we were little. I know that difficulties will arise as we go through life but my burdens have been relatively light and short lived thus far. Sometimes I catch myself wishing there were words of encouragement I could give my sister but what could I possibly say from this blessed and easy life of mine? When nearing the treacherous peak of Everest there’s little want for words of wisdom from those who chose to stay at base camp. 

It’s so tempting to try to fix the problem when we see the ones we love struggling. We want to lighten the load with comfort and aid and it’s hard not to feel a tiny bit hurt when both are rejected. There are some things that aren’t for us to fix. Sometimes all we can do is watch and pray and cheer on our loved ones from the sidelines. I’m still learning this lesson. For me, the greatest challenge of being stuck between a rock and a hard place is not that I’ve been there myself, but that I can only watch when I see my family there. I pray for all those in impossible situations and also for all those called to witness that struggle.