One thing that has become abundantly clear to me during my short three years as a practicing Catholic is that God’s plan is infinitely better than ours. Every time something miraculous happens in my life which utterly upsets the status quo and shatters my expectations I am freshly reminded of God’s goodness. It happened when I moved to Indiana, it happened when I met my husband and it happened when we welcomed our daughter into the world. None of these events played out quite like I would have imagined. They were even better and I am forever changed because of them. 

The most recent pivotal event, the birth of our baby girl, ushered in an entirely new way of life which called for no small amount of deliberation with my husband as well as a renewed trust in God. After months of consideration and a thorough look at our finances I became a stay at home mom. For the first time in my life, my daily routine is not centered around a career. The engineering job which I’ve spent the majority of my life pursuing is currently in the rearview mirror. Perhaps one day when our kids are grown I may return to it but for now I am simply a mother. 

This decision was met with overwhelming congratulations and support from friends and family, though some of them naturally voiced a number of questions which had been on replay in my own mind for the past year. Are you ready to live on only one income? Won’t you miss your job? Will you get bored? What are you going to do with your time? These are all perfectly valid concerns and were taken into consideration as this was not a choice made lightly. 

Given the high costs of daycare and other childcare arrangements, a second income would not have ultimately benefited our overall finances by a significant margin. My husband is picking up a few extra overtime jobs while I am our primary childcare but these are sacrifices we are both happy to make. Perhaps someday I may come to miss the comradery of the office and mill life. However, though I made many friends at work I haven’t yet had a chance to miss the work itself. I love being home with my daughter. How could I possibly pass up seeing her sweet little face, even on the bad days, to sit at a desk in front of a computer for 40 hours a week? Motherhood will undoubtedly have its dull seasons and sleepless nights but I can’t imagine doing anything else. I believe that the time and energy I spent earning my engineering degree and scoring a job in the steel industry was still pointing me to exactly where I am today. All that work was done in the name of setting myself up to one day be able to raise a family. 

My husband and I are continuing our commitments to our various church ministries while baby girl and I are on a constant mission to get out of the house. She’s a nature girl, after my own heart, and loves making new friends. In those spare moments when we’re not walking the neighborhood, hiking the local trails, having a playdate or attending weekday mass she occasionally lets me set her down long enough to do a little cooking and home upkeep. So far there hasn’t been a day wasted and I’m always learning more efficient methods for getting things done around the house while juggling the little one. Of course, I am now more dependent on my husband than ever before and it’s always possible that tragedy may strike tomorrow. Our situation may change in the blink of an eye. I may be called to return to office life unexpectedly but I choose not to live in fear of what might happen tomorrow. We are simply called to bear the crosses of today. Relying on my husband while I watch our daughter learn and grow every day is a cross I am overjoyed to take up daily. God is so good.