As I’ve mentioned on this blog, I recently made the leap from a full time metallurgical engineer to a stay at home mom. This was a decision which I arrived at after nearly a year of contemplation and discernment, and I haven’t regretted it for a second. However, it was not a transition without sacrifice. 

During my five years working as a quality engineer in the steel industry I tasted total independence for the first, and likely last, time in my life. For a while, it was everything I imagined it could be. It was a productive, engaging and uncomplicated way of living. I spent my days working in an interesting field and filled my evenings and weekends with opportunities to hone my social skills or take up new hobbies. I became what many people consider an interesting person. There was a wow factor to this young, personable female engineer. People were so impressed to learn of my chosen career path and I admit that I enjoyed their praise. My life was a whirlwind of activity and possibilities. I was completely free to do what I wanted when I wanted.

However, the shine of total independence began to tarnish after about six months. Truly not needing anything from anyone becomes a very lonely existence rather quickly. Although I filled my time outside of work by making new friends, I never grew exceptionally close with any of them and I started to miss the relationships which are born from necessity, the familial bonds with people in my life who should always be needed in some capacity.

I think that independence is something everyone should experience at some point and I feel immensely blessed to have had a sample of it myself. I am also thrilled that it’s over. Now, I get to lean on my husband while I pour my time and energy into the raising of our baby girl. I get the bliss of fully dedicating myself to motherhood while trusting and knowing that my husband will handle everything else. Motherhood is an occupation with little wow factor and no paycheck but there’s no other job I’d rather do.