Amid numerous walks this year with baby girl, watching the autumn chill drain the color from the world was like watching a master painter in reverse. Each and every perfectly shaded petal faded to monochrome by the tiniest increment every day, beautiful long after full bloom just as God intended.
During our time running our parish marriage prep ministry we’ve met many dutiful and faithful Catholics approaching the Sacrament of holy matrimony. However, the majority of them are somewhat uninformed and unpracticed when it comes to Natural Family Planning (NFP). As Catholics we must always be open to life which means we avoid the use of birth control and contraceptives which deprive us of God’s gifts and blessings. This does not mean we are prohibited from making informed decisions about when to grow our families. This is where NFP comes in. There are a number of methods for tracking a woman’s natural menstrual cycle in order to determine times of high and low fertility. Equipped with this knowledge it is possible to choose when to invite new little ones into the world. While this can be a highly effective means of family planning it is not without its difficulties and so today I want to share some of the pros and cons of using NFP.
Pros
Cons
These are certainly not the only considerations when using NFP. Many people are unaware of the abortive aspect of hormonal birth control. Likewise, women often find they are much more confident in their knowledge of their own bodies when they start using NFP. Unfortunately, it is also true that using NFP requires constant commitment and sacrifice but on the whole, and from a Catholic perspective, the pros far outweigh the cons.
As I write this post, mid-November, we are still patiently awaiting the first snow of the season. There’s a persistent chill in the air and the ghoulish Halloween decorations are being replaced by cheery lights and candy canes. However, for several weeks, our neighborhood was ablaze with colors like this. It was a blessing to watch the trees rain down their fiery foliage in Indiana this season.
It’s easy to let a tinge of despair creep into our lives if all we ever do is watch the news. The broadcast worthy stories hardly ever seem to have happy endings (excluding our recent and historic election. Yippee!). I firmly believe it is the responsibility of every individual to be informed of the happenings in the world. However, every now and then, we all need to turn off the news and simply enjoy life. When we go out into the world and participate we discover once again that people really are remarkable. They’re resilient and intelligent and passionate, each fueled by a perfectly distinct and driving fire to do something important. For many, this manifests in a career.
In a family of engineers, doctors and soldiers, I am surrounded by these people, hardworking individuals who have devoted their lives to the service of others. When speaking with them it requires no effort to see that their chosen fields of work are no less than a calling from God. In some way they are each duty bound to make use of their talents and passion for the betterment of humanity.
Throughout my life I have been constantly inspired by these people though I admit that I’ve also found myself incredibly envious at times. I’ve never felt similarly compelled to any particular career and for a long time I wondered if this was a deficiency of my own character. My driving fire has never infused in me a need to participate in great technological advancements or save lives or defend the innocent. Rather I believe I inherited the hospitality bug from my mom. I like to feed people. I delight in home cooking, music and good conversation, despite being tremendously shy. I am most fulfilled while bringing warmth and good cheer to friends, family and strangers alike.
Although I am perfectly content in my decision to be a stay at home mom, lately I’ve been feeling the need to justify this choice. We live in a time where everyone is free to chase their dreams to the ends of the earth and encouraged to do so. Our society tells men and women alike that they should have careers and that these will be their most important contributions to the world. I am a member of a generation which has been brought up under the belief that a college degree and a good job are the markers of ultimate success. For some, my bowing out of such a job in the steel industry seems akin to throwing away a dream, especially considering the years of education and work which went into acquiring it.
This is something I’ve considered long and hard and I truly don’t believe that I’m throwing away anything. Though it was a perfectly good job and may have turned into a career had I stayed, for me it was always done in the service of my actual dream, to be a wife and mother. It may seem a far less ambitious calling than those of my relatives. It’s likely that no one will ever remember my deeds as particularly noteworthy. However, in a world of geniuses and heroes, I am simply called to be a wife and a mom. I couldn’t be happier!
Sometimes, immersing ourselves in nature’s loveliness is as easy as leaning in for a closer look. As the air turns cold and the leaves rain from the trees, I’m remembering blessed summer moments like this.
During a camping trip this summer we were blessed to share our campsite with some unexpected visitors. Our baby girl giggled while meeting these feathered friends and they happily grazed about camp all weekend long.
I am currently discovering, as every new mother has, the necessity of no expectations. I keep no daily to do lists or agendas. There’s no set time in which I will accomplish any particular task. Unlike the five second tick tock snippets of seemingly put-together stay at home moms touting pleasant and strictly regulated routines of balanced breakfasts, full workouts and easy nap times, my life is not so structured.
Of course there are events throughout the day which reliably occur, breakfast and story time while baby girl babbles on her playmat for instance. However, the time and duration of these occurrences is always a gamble. There simply is no knowing when I might get a spare moment to tidy the house or send an email or run an errand and thus, there is no to do list, just a few things I might get done if time allows.
This is a reality I’m still coming to terms with as I am traditionally a planner. I like making lists and scratching off a few items everyday. Checking nothing off can feel like a step backward. However, since the birth of our daughter, I’ve learned to swallow that disappointment. Wasting time beating myself up over all the things I failed to do is of no use to anyone, especially with an exhausted hubby always slightly sleep deprived from night shifts at work.
Difficult though it may be at times, I am often called to drop all expectations for the day in order to be a warm and helpful support to him and our needy infant. This is one of those small crosses of stay at home motherhood which I am learning to embrace. After a long night at work for my husband or a sleepless afternoon with a gassy baby, it’s down to me to be the sunshine in our home. Of course I have bad days but this is the role I strive to fill for my family.
Check it out! The story of our Pilgrim Virgin was picked up by the Northwest Indiana Catholic. If you are in or near the Valparaiso area don’t hesitate to invite Mary into your home with this beautiful family devotion to the Blessed Virgin. It’s never too late.
There will never come a day when I don’t miss the majesty of the mountains where I grew up, a place where it was always possible to stand on top of the world and marvel at the beauty and vastness of it. Although my current home comes with considerably less epic hiking opportunities, Indiana affords its nature enthusiasts every reason to look up, especially in the golden, glowing month of October. I hope everyone is able to fully celebrate this week as we honor and pray for our beloved dead.
Blessed in the Midwest 