Even though the days are growing shorter and a chill has swept into town, bright reminders of sunny days still dot fields and flower beds, blessing the world with a last warm goodbye before winter.
Sunny October Rays
Author: scbilder
Here I Am
My husband and I have been trying to squeeze adoration and daily mass into our schedule more frequently. Sometimes it’s a bit of an effort as neither of us are currently blessed with an abundance of free time but I never regret it. Fr. Mike Schmitz highlighted our Catholic mission perfectly in his Catechism in a Year podcast when he spoke of how we are called to live outside of Sunday worship. Our faith ought to inform everything we do. When looking for vacation destinations we have to also keep in mind the availability of a Catholic church and mass while away from home and we should consider committing to daily mass during those days of rest and relaxation. We should give more to God on our days off and in our moments of spare time because those are the moments when we have the most to give. God is for us always, not just when convenient. We ought to be for Him in the same way.
It was in this spirit that my husband and I agreed to make time before the Blessed Sacrament a larger portion of our day-to-day. Often, the small, ordinary comfort of habitual prayer before the Eucharist is the only reward, though still well worth it. However, there are other moments of being touched and utterly overwhelmed by God’s grace. Such was the case one Tuesday morning in early July. We both had the day off from work for our nation’s Independence Day and chose to begin the celebrations with morning adoration and mass.
We like to attend adoration at our local university’s chapel. It’s an intimate experience as the little chapel is a simple, windowless room barely large enough to accommodate five chairs and one solitary kneeler set directly before a tabernacle which can be opened and closed by visitors without endangering the consecrated host inside. On this occasion we were the only two visitors and used the time to pray our daily rosary as well as a divine mercy chaplet. As we recited the chaplet my mind drifted to the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist on silent display at the front of the tiny dimmed room.
I thought of Christ, the man, with us in adoration and was stunned at how easily and vividly that image came to mind. I didn’t have to wonder at what He would look like, how He would dress or His mannerisms as we prayed before His blessed body. Those details came into view without any effort of my own. I could almost see Him kneeling directly in front of the host between my husband and I as we sat praying on either side of the tabernacle. His back was to us, hands steepled and head bowed in silent prayer to His father. I couldn’t see his face but I don’t believe that was the point. I wouldn’t have been there if I didn’t already believe in the real presence. This image, clear as day, was not proof but consolation. He was simply there, lovingly present with us. It was like a parent’s embrace to a child which says you are safe, you are loved and you are not alone. As this scene of the three of us played out in my mind and our divine mercy chaplet drew to a close He never turned and He never spoke but three words were plastered across my consciousness and haven’t left me since. “Here I am.”
Fair Weather Guests
Every summer we happily host a number of creatures, from rabbits to the neighborhood cardinal in our backyard. Last year we worried that we may have offended Mr. Frog by evicting him from one of my potted roses as summer wound down but frogs don’t seem to hold grudges as we’ve once again been blessed with their company all summer long.
Marriage Etiquette: Flirt Like it’s 1867
I recently came across an article outlining Victorian Era dating tips and couldn’t help but laugh because I found myself agreeing with most of them. Here is my reasoning for why these courtship rules from the 1800s are still relevant and necessary in the 21st century.
- A gentleman should protect a woman in case of danger. – Yes! Men should be men. Men are generally larger, stronger, less emotional and better equipped to repel and attack. I am by no means saying that women should simply accept the role of helpless damsel in distress. I believe everyone, be it man or woman, should be fully capable of defending themselves. It’s why I enthusiastically embrace our U.S. Constitution’s Second Amendment. However, as the protector of the family, it is the husband’s (man’s) responsibility to act as the first line of defense, whether that be under physical or verbal assault.
- A lady should not accept gifts from gentlemen. – This one is fairly straightforward. Don’t lead on people you’re not interested in. In today’s world the threshold for when it’s appropriate to start showering each other with gifts seems to vary from person to person. However, it’s my feeling that you shouldn’t be giving or receiving romantic gifts from or dating anyone you don’t genuinely intend to marry. It just muddies the waters and wastes everyone’s time.
- A gentleman should give all his attention to his woman in public. – I believe this is the theory of duh. It’s applicable to men and women in my opinion. If you’re in a relationship don’t be making eyes at other people. Period. Obviously you shouldn’t flirt with anyone but the person you are currently committed to.
- A woman was prohibited from calling on a man. – While I don’t think strict adherence to this rule is currently necessary, there are some underlying ideas which I think should still be practiced today. People should not carelessly flirt with friends or strangers or do anything that might lead to scandal for themselves or others. If you really do have feelings for a potential love interest you should respect them enough to maintain a proper courtship which doesn’t leave your neighbors guessing what might be happening in private, behind closed doors.
- A gentleman had to control his sexual appetite. – Guys, it turns out it’s still bad form to flirt with anything that moves. One of the hallmarks of adulthood which is sadly lacking in our society today is mastery over all of your urges and impulses rather than being mastered by them. It’s a lesson that both men and women should take to heart. Contrary to popular current belief, you do not have to bow to each and every physical and emotional desire and nor should you.
- Strangers who found themselves dancing together were not allowed to converse. – I don’t totally agree with this particular rule but, as with #4, there are some underlying core values which I do believe still have a place in our modern world. Too often we underestimate the power of a proper introduction, particularly in current culture where simply approaching a woman and striking up a conversation is becoming increasingly complicated and risky. Whether it be by an acquaintance at church or a mutual work friend or anyone else, being introduced is a perfect way to ease tension and awkwardness during that first meeting.
- A gentleman was obliged to carry a lady’s bag. – Much like #1, this is a PSA to all the young men in the world today. Don’t let chivalry be dead. Do the gentlemanly thing and take care of the heavy lifting. If done genuinely, it is a kind and reverent action a man can do for his lady. Inversely, all the empowered lady bosses should learn to take a step back and simply say thank you when a gentleman steps up to do a good deed for them. Men and women are different and we absolutely should embrace our uniquely masculine and feminine traits in order fulfill God’s will for our lives and become good partners for each other.
- A gentleman should leave the inner side of the pavement for his lady. – This is another chivalrous and protective gesture which I think needs to be reinstated in society. In this particular instance, the man places himself in between his lady and any potential danger that might come from the street, whether that be puddle splashback or a runaway carriage. Whatever the peril, walking on the streetside demonstrates his feelings for his woman by quietly but willingly putting himself in a position to take the brunt of it.
- Neither party should make the other jealous. – No good can come from toying with the mind and emotions of another human being. This manipulative act can often lead to fighting, scandal and horribly misguided judgements in a relationship. If you truly want to beat the dating game you must first embrace total honesty with your partner. You might entice dishonest people by being honest but you will never entice an honest person by being dishonest.
What do you think? Should we revive 1800s courtship rules?
Velvet
All summer my roses have continued to bloom, blessing us with a fresh crimson bouquet every couple of weeks though I never cease to be amazed by them. Each and every velvet petal seems a unique and masterful work of art.
Unpack the Boxes
I came across this post, Love the Place You Want to Leave by Intentional Faith, a fellow blogger and had to reread it several times. I was so deeply moved by it as it perfectly articulates the profound ache of homesickness. I just passed my fourth year in the Midwest and, while I’m immensely happy in my marriage, my home and my life in general, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss everything about life in Colorado. Part of my heart will always belong there.
However, I had a couple of spectacular epiphanies while reading this post. Obviously, I’m hardly the first or the last to feel this way. That bit of perspective is easy to forget during the daily grind. I’ve also come to realize that not every longing in my heart, no matter how intense, is a call from God to action. He put me here in this place right now for a reason and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Even though I’ve taken many measures to embrace life in the Midwest, there’s still a part of me that hesitates when approaching new home improvement projects or when considering getting involved in some church or community group. There’s part of me that wonders how long I’m going to be here anyway. Should I really get too entrenched here when I still yearn for different scenery?
I believe the short answer is yes. I’m only human. I can’t see the future. Who knows what the next 5, 10 or even 20 years will bring? But what better way is there to glorify God than to live my very best, most Catholic life in this place and this home that He’s given me? Living with one foot out the door because our situation might change in another few years is precisely the opposite of what He calls us all to do. It isn’t wrong to miss where I came from. It’s wrong to use that desire as an excuse to not “unpack the boxes” here. I should make this place as much of a home as I possibly can for as long as I am called to be here. Anything less is a deliberate failure to do God’s will.
Colorado Postcards
On a recent trip to Colorado, in addition to the usual family hikes to remote mountain lakes, my husband and I also visited some of the most well known and iconic views in the area. Colorado smiled for us in all of its’ summer glory as we soaked in Gods blessings.
Maroon Bells and Crater Lake are some of the most famous sites around, situated just outside of Aspen, CO where visitors from nearly every walk of life can take a short bus ride to the trailhead and witness God’s spectacular creation for themselves.
The Colorado Blue Columbine is fairly native to the Rocky Mountains which is likely why it was long ago named the state flower. Although we were visiting in late summer, well past prime time for spring wildflowers, we were still blessed to catch a couple of these along our way.
Hanging Lake is one of the great wonders of Colorado and a testament to God’s infinite creativity. Much like Maroon Bells, people flock to this lake, nestled high up in the walls of Glenwood Canyon. Its crystal blue depths are reminiscent of the healing mystical waters one might read about in an epic fantasy tale of brave knights and elven kingdoms.
The Thankless Jobs
People get so caught up with being the equal. Equal representation has become equal celebration and now everyone is out to claim their day on the calendar. We as humans truly are the walking wounded. Everyone on the planet has experienced some hardship in their lives and likely will again. Suffering is one of the few guarantees in this life. We’ve grown so used to it and so fond of it that we’ve started trying to outdo one another, trying to squeeze ourselves into every possible suffering minority in an effort to claim that our pain is greater than everyone else’s and we ought to be recognized for it.
This is one of the countless reasons that I thank God for blessing me with the two loving people who raised me. My parents taught me to know my worth. Of course, they also instilled in my sister and I an attitude of humility which we both still strive for. We were brought up to be kind and polite and to always respect our elders. However, we also grew up with the understanding that no mountain was too high to summit. There was no impossible undertaking in our lives, just enough hard work to get it done. Even in Disney movies, dreams don’t come true for free. I’m human just like everyone else, flawed and fallen. I make mistakes, fall short and begin again as we all do but by God’s grace, every single prayer in my life has been answered.
I don’t need a month or a week or a day on the calendar to know my worth. I have already proved myself capable of overcoming obstacles that life throws my way. I have found success in all facets of my life and I believe that, so long as I continue to take up my cross daily as God calls us to do, I can still achieve great things. I know that I’m capable of being a good wife and a good Catholic and someday I believe I can be a good mother. It doesn’t matter how many people will celebrate me for it. Even if no one ever thanks me for my efforts to one day raise a loving, Christ centered family, I will still know that it was worth it. In my experience it’s often these seemingly thankless jobs in life that ultimately lead us toward true fulfillment which is found in Christ.
Everyday Sunshine
I’m blessed to have found a man who’s happy to take wifey for regular walks around town where we get to experience bright sunny moments like this, a tiny miracle for an ordinary day.
Genuflecting Before the Blessed Sacrament
I once heard it said that if Christ were truly present in the consecrated host at mass we would crawl to the altar to receive Him. Of course this is not our practice in the communion line and so a logical person might conclude that the bread and wine we receive at mass is not actually the body and blood of Christ. Indeed, if it were we certainly would handle it with far greater reverence and care.
As a devout baby Catholic still journeying toward a deeper understanding of Christ, I strongly disagree with the conclusion drawn from this observation but it does shed light on the state of our church, especially when spoken by a child undergoing faith formation. They are told that they ought to love Christ above all else and with their whole hearts. They are instructed to turn to Him in their sorrows and to praise Him for every blessing because we owe our salvation to Him. They are also told in faith formation that through the sacrament of Holy Eucharist, the actual body and blood of Christ, that we can obtain graces in our lives by receiving God Himself.
This is all true but it would be difficult to believe by simply observing the average lay person at mass, particularly through the eyes of a young person still discovering their faith. We are a society that has forgotten how to show respect for anything. Many of us can’t even stand for our national flag, much less kneel for the cross and our Lord and God. When it comes to public displays of subservience we are more than out of practice. We are downright defiant. We hate the idea of bowing to anyone or anything, even to our creator. Through the gifts and talents He blesses us with we can have incredible agency over our own lives and can easily be drawn into the trap of wondering what we could possibly need Him for.
What’s more, this attitude of indifference has not gone unnoticed by our younger generations. They are beginning to imitate us, wondering why they ought to care so much when we clearly don’t. If we truly grasped the fullness of God and the sacrifice of Christ on the cross we would fall on our knees. It’s true that many practicing Catholics just don’t know any better, never having been taught the meaning behind all the happenings at mass. But ignorance is no excuse for our societal lapse in proper practice. As baptized members of Christ’s church it is our duty to know and understand its teachings and traditions and to be living examples of Christ.
Next time you go to mass remember to take a knee and solemnly make the sign of the cross before taking your seat in the pews. Genuflect also and make the sign of the cross every time you cross in front of the altar. When approaching the altar, whether as a sacristan, reader or server, always bow deeply in total deference to Christ. In the communion line as you bow before receiving the Eucharist don’t rush. Consider who you are about to receive, the sacrifice He made for you and the grace He will impart through His own body and blood. All these actions may feel awkward or trivial at first but practice makes perfect and we all ought to practice what we preach a little more. You never know who might be watching.
Blessed in the Midwest 