A Disciple of Christ

A Mother’s Love

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Sometimes we have to grow up to truly grasp all the little ways our parents love us even without our knowledge. For the first 21 years of my life there was always family close by, sometimes a short 20 minutes down the road but most often just in the next room. I grew up accustomed to the familial sounds of chatter in the hall and feet on the stairs. Even now, my house doesn’t quite feel like home when my husband has to spend a weekend away for work and everything falls silent. Home has always been where my people are.

When I moved to Indiana for a job in the steel industry I also embarked on the two loneliest years of my life. Of course, I invested all of my free time and energy in keeping busy and making friends. I took up new hobbies and filled my days with every social engagement I could find, despite being incredibly shy. However, in the evening I would always return to a dark, empty apartment which was an especially sobering situation amid COVID lockdowns. During this season of loneliness I called my mom nearly every day, sometimes three times in one day. She was a constant lifeline and content to receive a running play-by-play of my new life in the Midwest. My mom wore many hats during that time; life coach, public relations advisor, romance councilor, medical consultant and chief BFF to name a few. 

Now, having found my husband and both of us with slightly busier church schedules, we talk a bit less. Our catch up phone calls now come a few times a week and I’m ashamed to say I’ve caught myself a bit peeved on occasion when she wasn’t able to come to the phone. In addition to becoming a hugely active and influential member of her parish community, my mom is also the current help hotline for my sister who is in the throes of medical school while navigating the joys and trials of motherhood for the very first time. 

It occurred to me recently that in my own time of need my mom was just as available and ready to listen. She hardly ever missed a call during those two years when I was entirely on my own in an unfamiliar landscape. At the time, I was simply grateful for the comfort our daily check-ins afforded us both. I was blessed with a familiar voice to vent any and all frustrations to and my mom received regular reassurance that her youngest daughter was still safe and well. Now, years later, I consider the sacrifice these chats required on her part, to always be ready and willing to listen. I pray someday that my own kids can know they are loved that much. Thanks mom.

Celebrity Status

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Photo by cottonbro studio

On our way back from a short Colorado trip this year my husband and I were making our way through the Denver airport. I believe this was also the day after a Taylor Swift concert and DIA was utterly overrun with swifties, some of whom still sported their concert costumes. Blessedly, we arrived at the airport with hours to spare and the security line moved quickly. Once through we prepared to board a train to carry us to our gate and caught sight of the black clericals and white collar of a priest in the crowd. Given that we were on our way back from baptizing our niece in an incredibly reverent mass, I felt this was the perfect ending to such a holy weekend and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. 

He was dressed much the same as all the other priests I’ve met but for two details. Around his neck hung a large beautiful golden crucifix and on his finger sat a gold ring which looked to be a seal. My husband and I were sure that this was no ordinary priest. We boarded the train and ended up standing directly in front of this holy man and I wracked my brain for some small comment of appreciation to say to him. I came up blank as I couldn’t decide how to address him without being sure of his name or position in the Church. 

As we sped toward our gate, the train rounded a bend and jostled as trains do. We’d shuffled to the middle of the car to allow others to board and now, being somewhat unanchored, I literally bumped into the man. Of course I wasted no time in making a brief but sincere apology which he graciously accepted. Again, I was left searching for more words to express my joy at having found the Church and my gratitude toward all the holy men who have chosen the priesthood. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance as he deboarded at the next gate and we continued on. 

We later found him through a quick google search and excitedly texted my parents to tell them that I had bumped into Archbishop Aquila, the Archbishop of Denver. This experience called to mind a story my sister told me about one of our priest friends visiting her and her husband in Little Italy while on a trip to Cleveland once. They’d all gone out for lunch and he’d even concelebrated mass at Holy Rosary Church there. Throughout his visit, random strangers would wave and say hello, obviously noting the priestly clericals. My sister said it was almost like being out to lunch with a celebrity. The people in Little Italy were hardly shy about showing their appreciation for the priesthood.

This is how we should treat our priests! I am by no means advocating the kind of idolatry which has become commonplace to reserve for the pop stars of society. We are not to worship false gods and it’s true that some individuals mistakenly make their way into the priesthood, but even these men have been put there for a reason, though we on earth may never know what it is. However, there is no denying that, on the whole, these are holy men, ordained by God and solely capable of acting in the person of Christ while conferring the sacraments. We ought to afford special respect to the white collar and certainly those who wear it.

Unpack the Boxes

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I came across this post, Love the Place You Want to Leave by Intentional Faith, a fellow blogger and had to reread it several times. I was so deeply moved by it as it perfectly articulates the profound ache of homesickness. I just passed my fourth year in the Midwest and, while I’m immensely happy in my marriage, my home and my life in general, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss everything about life in Colorado. Part of my heart will always belong there.

However, I had a couple of spectacular epiphanies while reading this post. Obviously, I’m hardly the first or the last to feel this way. That bit of perspective is easy to forget during the daily grind. I’ve also come to realize that not every longing in my heart, no matter how intense, is a call from God to action. He put me here in this place right now for a reason and He doesn’t make mistakes. 

Even though I’ve taken many measures to embrace life in the Midwest, there’s still a part of me that hesitates when approaching new home improvement projects or when considering getting involved in some church or community group. There’s part of me that wonders how long I’m going to be here anyway. Should I really get too entrenched here when I still yearn for different scenery? 

I believe the short answer is yes. I’m only human. I can’t see the future. Who knows what the next 5, 10 or even 20 years will bring? But what better way is there to glorify God than to live my very best, most Catholic life in this place and this home that He’s given me? Living with one foot out the door because our situation might change in another few years is precisely the opposite of what He calls us all to do. It isn’t wrong to miss where I came from. It’s wrong to use that desire as an excuse to not “unpack the boxes” here. I should make this place as much of a home as I possibly can for as long as I am called to be here. Anything less is a deliberate failure to do God’s will. 

The Thankless Jobs

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People get so caught up with being the equal. Equal representation has become equal celebration and now everyone is out to claim their day on the calendar. We as humans truly are the walking wounded. Everyone on the planet has experienced some hardship in their lives and likely will again. Suffering is one of the few guarantees in this life. We’ve grown so used to it and so fond of it that we’ve started trying to outdo one another, trying to squeeze ourselves into every possible suffering minority in an effort to claim that our pain is greater than everyone else’s and we ought to be recognized for it. 

This is one of the countless reasons that I thank God for blessing me with the two loving people who raised me. My parents taught me to know my worth. Of course, they also instilled in my sister and I an attitude of humility which we both still strive for. We were brought up to be kind and polite and to always respect our elders. However, we also grew up with the understanding that no mountain was too high to summit. There was no impossible undertaking in our lives, just enough hard work to get it done. Even in Disney movies, dreams don’t come true for free. I’m human just like everyone else, flawed and fallen. I make mistakes, fall short and begin again as we all do but by God’s grace, every single prayer in my life has been answered. 

I don’t need a month or a week or a day on the calendar to know my worth. I have already proved myself capable of overcoming obstacles that life throws my way. I have found success in all facets of my life and I believe that, so long as I continue to take up my cross daily as God calls us to do, I can still achieve great things. I know that I’m capable of being a good wife and a good Catholic and someday I believe I can be a good mother. It doesn’t matter how many people will celebrate me for it. Even if no one ever thanks me for my efforts to one day raise a loving, Christ centered family, I will still know that it was worth it. In my experience it’s often these seemingly thankless jobs in life that ultimately lead us toward true fulfillment which is found in Christ. 

Books for the Catholic Reader

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Even before I was Catholic, I was an avid book lover. Throughout our childhood my sister enjoyed listening to a slew of epic fantasy novels which always came to us through our dad’s voice. No matter how many books I read (or had read to me), my reading list never gets any shorter. My husband’s learned to avoid Barnes & Noble on busy afternoons because it’s never a quick trip.

Over the last couple of years as I’ve grown in my faith I’ve started viewing my reading material through a much more Catholic lens, even the fantasy books. Here is my current book list for other Catholic readers.

Religious

  • The Bible – This is a Catholic no-brainer. It may not always be the easiest read but is something that every Catholic should familiarize themself with. Questions will undoubtedly arise as you go and you should never be afraid to bring these to your local priest. I also found it helpful to work through the Bible using the Fr. Mike Schmitz podcast series, The Bible in a Year.
  • The Catechism – Similar to the Bible, this book is incredibly useful for understanding not only Catholic texts but traditions as well. You can also digest this through a podcast series from Fr. Mike called The Catechism in a Year.
  • Miracles Through Our Lady: True Stories of Everyday People That Can Change Your Life Forever originally written by Fr. Karl Maria Harrer and translated by Renate Mross – This was one of the first books my husband ever read to me and I’m still deeply moved by the tales of marian miracles all over the world throughout history.

Dating Advice

  • How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert – This book is full of Catholic dating advice. It pounds home the necessity of saving sex for marriage, a conclusion I arrived at independently of my faith before picking up this book. However, my key takeaway was to never settle for someone who only tolerated my values. Although that lesson may seem obvious it was a shining moment for me in riddling out exactly what went wrong in a past relationship. This and many other relationship lessons were among the first to set me on the path to God. 

Non-Fiction

  • Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand – Immediately after watching the movie adaptation of this story I pulled the book off my parents’ shelf and started reading. Despite all of the unspeakable things that Louis Zamperini endured during WWII, I found this was ultimately a tale of Christ-like forgiveness and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. 

Fantasy 

  • The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien – Much like The Bible the epic tales of Middle Earth will never disappear from my list no matter how many times I read them. These are among the first books I remember my dad ever reading to my sister and I and someday I hope to share them with my own kids. They are bursting with Catholic teachings, Tolkien having been a devout Catholic himself, and the struggles and character of Christ can easily be seen in several of the main characters in this fantasy universe. 

Honorable Mentions

Many of these are not strictly Catholic but for one reason or another I found myself relating various characters or scenes to similar biblical happenings and had difficulty putting these stories down.

  • Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg
  • A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
  • All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
  • The Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson
  • The Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson
  • Harry Potter by J.K Rowling
  • The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis

Rebranding “Churchy”

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I think it’s time we Catholics take back the vocabulary surrounding our faith. When we hear the term “churchy” it’s tempting to wrinkle our noses as if encountering some smelly mystery substance stuck to the bottom of our shoe. That’s how society treats it. Even during our Catholic marriage prep, the couples running the two day discussion showered us with promises that they wouldn’t let the weekend get too “churchy.” It’s Catholic marriage prep. One of its chief purposes is to be churchy.

We are constantly watering down our beautiful, glorious faith in order to make it more palatable to non-believers but this is backwards. We are called to bring souls to the Church, not the other way around. As Catholics everything we do should possess an element of churchiness because our faith is more than Sunday worship. It’s a way of life and informs every decision we make. I refuse to stifle my love of Christ to accommodate the feelings and comfort of someone else. I may not be everyone’s best friend. I may say and do things that some people find upsetting. Many years from now I may not be famous or loved by all but I hope that the people who do know me remember how churchy I was.

Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

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Photo by MART PRODUCTION

Amid all the hustle and bustle of life there are a few days throughout the year during which attendance is required at Catholic mass in addition to our regular Sunday worship. These holy days of obligation are days of rest, reflection and renewed devotion to our Lord and today is one such day. Today we celebrate the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Mary the most holy mother of God is also named the new Eve in the Catholic Church. Just as our fall was brought forth in the Garden of Eden by a woman, so also was our salvation born from a woman’s womb. In this way men and women were both redeemed. 

Mary is also considered the mother of the Church. Christ confirmed this in His last words to Mary and John while on the cross. Like Christ, Mary was free from original sin and unfailing in her devotion to God. For all of these reasons, Mary’s body was not subjected to an earthly death but was assumed into Heaven, body and soul. She is now everyone’s mother and protector as Queen of the Universe. 

Wake Up to the Sound of Freedom

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Image from Christian Broadcasting Network

I’m a bit late to this train so I’ll forego a full synopsis of Sound of Freedom as most know by now what it’s about. Suffice to say, everyone should see this film. Premiering on July 4th as a wake up call to Americans, this movie shed light on the horrors of child trafficking in gritty detail. Most of us have grown up being entertained by action flicks like Taken and quoting lines originally delivered in Liam Neeson’s epic tones. While these kinds of movies may hold us in rapt attention and even elicit strong emotions at various points, Sound of Freedom is an entirely different experience. 

One of the most shocking things about this action thriller is that it isn’t fiction as most are quick to assume before entering the theater. This tale of hellish evils and miraculous rescues is as real as it is unbelievable. The mission of the main character, Tim Ballard who is played by Jim Caviezel, throughout the movie can only be described as a calling from God and one that required no small amount of divine intervention. Tim’s tireless and heartbreaking work has finally brought child trafficking to the world stage for all to see. It’s nearly impossible to imagine how children, the utmost pure and innocent in our lives, could be so cruelly abducted and put to such evil uses but Sound of Freedom makes it possible. Among the stories told in the film, one of Tim’s very first rescue missions was of a boy who was just eight years old, though as we learn throughout the movie, many are sold into this industry much younger than that. 

Even as I write this, I struggle to articulate the effect Sound of Freedom had on me. Of course, while watching in the theater I was overcome with anger and despair with the rest of the audience. However, days later, some of the most horrific scenes still played on repeat in my head and the sad, mistrusting faces of the kids portrayed in the movie often still come into view. My relatively sheltered mind simply could not fathom how such evil could be allowed to exist in the world and I don’t pretend to have found an answer. More than 300,000 kids are trafficked around the world every year and the United States is the industry’s largest consumer. 

As many have already stated in countless reviews of the movie, I don’t have the faintest idea how we solve this problem. Perhaps the first steps are to make ourselves aware of it by watching Sound of Freedom and to pray for the children sold into the living hell of child trafficking and everyone sent by God to rescue them. 

The Best Laid Plans

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I’m in that strange stage of life where all the people I grew up with are settling into jobs and families and lives of their own. All of the beloved traditions that lit up our childhood and always magically came around every year now require thought, time and planning. I can still recall a time, not so long ago, when I wouldn’t have dreamed of missing Christmas in Colorado with my big sister and my parents and yet, for two years in a row now, that Colorado Christmas has been reduced to phone calls. 

Of course, there was always a very good reason. With marriage and adulthood comes an ever more complicated schedule and life happens. Jobs change, people move, other family members need help, there are bills to contend with and increasingly expensive plane tickets. There are always extenuating circumstances for not following through with even the best laid plans. And adulthood certainly isn’t all scheduling difficulties. There are weddings and baby showers to attend and the joy of welcoming new members into the family. I’m thrilled to have a new niece and nephew to love and spoil. I am godmother to one of them and I can’t wait. 

I can see all sorts of different futures, all wonderful and perfect and yet horribly imperfect at the same time. Each and every one of them is full of love and possibilities but none of them look quite like the glorious childhood that I had. I’m still young enough to remember with total clarity all of the reasons why I loved growing up in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and why, back then, I passionately promised to raise my own kids in a similar fashion. However, I’m also now old enough to realize that probably won’t happen, at least not quite like I would have pictured it. 

I suppose everyone finds themselves caught in a similar struggle at some point. We can’t know the future after all and so it’s impossible to truly know what will ultimately be best for the ones we love. But as every seasoned parent in my life assures me, you figure it out. With God’s help all things are possible and life has a funny way of working out in the end. Of course there will be difficult decisions and hard times but so long as we do our best with what He gave us and are always turning toward Him in all things life will go on and bring with it unnumbered blessings.

Praying for the Stars and Stripes

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Today, July 4th, marks the anniversary of a day in 1776 when the 13 colonies claimed their independence from Great Britain. The Declaration of Independence was signed and adopted and continues to be a guiding force in our country today though many people have forgotten exactly what it says. Most will likely recognize this sentence from history class but perhaps, amid all the backyard barbeques and fireworks displays this weekend, we all could find a little time to refresh ourselves on the document in its entirety and recall precisely how our country was born. 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I’m thanking that Creator everyday for all the blessings He’s given me. I ask everyone to please pray for our country, not just today but all days and in all seasons.

A Prayer for our Country

O Most Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Mercy, at this most critical time, we entrust the United States of America to your loving care. Most Holy Mother, we beg you to reclaim this land for the glory of your Son. Overwhelmed with the burden of the sins of our nation, we cry to you from the depths of our hearts and seek refuge in your motherly protection. Look down with mercy upon us and touch the hearts of our people. Open our minds to the great worth of human life and to the responsibilities that accompany human freedom. Free us from the falsehoods that lead to the evil of abortion and threaten the sanctity of marriage and family life. Grant our country the wisdom to proclaim that God’s law is the foundation on which this nation was founded, and that He alone is the True Source of our cherished rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. O Merciful Mother, give us the courage to reject the culture of death and the strength to build a new Culture of Life. Amen.