Holy Sacraments

Baptized on Holy Ground

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I am officially a godmother! We recently returned from a weekend trip to Colorado where we gathered with friends and family to witness the baptism of our beautiful baby niece in an incredibly reverent and holy Catholic mass. Since the minute she was born, this little girl has been surrounded by grace. Her mother was very recently confessed at the time of her birth, ensuring that this baby was born from the womb of a woman in friendship with God. One of their very first outings as a family was to mass, a weekly ritual in which this sweet infant has been in regular attendance ever since. When we all met in Colorado for her celebration, it was clear that her entrance into the Catholic Church was also especially blessed. 

The baptism was held at St. John Vianney Theological Seminary in Christ the King Chapel in Denver, CO. This is one of two seminaries in the state of Colorado and complete with all the beauty one would expect to find on such holy ground. Entering this sacred space, my thoughts turned to all the holy men who had prayed here. In fact, it is said that the architect who designed the seminary was not a Catholic when he began, but after doing the research to ensure it was a liturgically-correct design, he was converted to the Church founded by Jesus Christ upon its completion. 

Saints rendered in exquisite stained glass silently watched the proceedings from beneath graceful stone arches and vaulted ceilings. Our niece was baptized in holy water before a stunning gold and marble altar. Here, in this sacred space where priests are made, one baby girl was welcomed into the Lord’s protection in a full baptism mass. This singular ceremony was a tremendous gift from the presiding priest, a formator at the seminary. He is also  the man who had walked my sister and her husband through RCIA and welcomed them into the Church and joined them together in holy matrimony just two years  ago. Now, all three of them met again to celebrate the fruit of that conversion and union. 

For her part, our sweet little niece dozed soundly in her mother’s arms throughout the entire mass, perfectly at ease in the Lord’s house. She didn’t even make a peep when the cool holy water of baptism was poured over her tiny head, as if somehow conscious of the Lord’s perfect love and mercy washing over her. Her tiny angelic face was untroubled as she received her passport to Heaven before an assembly of smiling grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, and of course the cloud of witnesses celebrating the inauguration of a new member to the faith of Christ.

The Only One That Matters

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There is a popular belief today that more experience, even failed experience is better. People like to reference Thomas Edison’s discoveries with the lightbulb to prove this point. While taking failure in stride is a necessary practice in any career, I no longer believe the argument holds water when it comes to dating.

Taking a job for the experience will likely land you many more career prospects in the future. Taking a relationship for the experience is a cruel and manipulative exercise in futility which will not ultimately bring you any closer to finding your forever person. The only acceptable reason to enter into a relationship is because you genuinely believe that it may be your last relationship. Any other goal is a death sentence to the romance. You are dooming yourself and your partner to failure before you’ve even begun.

Some like to argue that this kind of casual companionship is acceptable so long as the goal is just to have fun and both parties agree to it. I disagree. Desensitizing yourself to failure in romance will only deaden your ability to recognize success when it does come. A lifetime of settling for mediocre, seasonal flings will never impart the skills necessary for attracting your future spouse. Learning how to manipulate a person’s feelings is in complete opposition to learning how to love them. If you really do want to find your future spouse you should be loving them as if you’ve already met them by maintaining a virtuous, properly ordered lifestyle. That person is out there in the world somewhere right now, making mistakes of their own and in need of your prayers.

Finding the love of your life is far more difficult than the movies make it out to be. It will likely be one of the greatest tests of your patience. You may have to go on a lot of first dates in order to find your one and only but you never will if you settle into a habit of companionship with the wrong people. It doesn’t matter how pleasant or convenient that companionship may be. If you can’t see yourself marrying that person someday you shouldn’t agree to a second date. 

People like to boast about the quality or quantity of the frogs they’ve kissed as if these make them an expert dater but the only love experts I care about aren’t dating anymore. In the end it doesn’t matter how many almosts, puppy loves or catastrophic mistakes you’ve had. The only one that matters is the one that wasn’t a frog at all. When it comes to romance, getting it wrong is easy. Getting it right is something you’ll only ever do once.

A Baby Catholic’s Movie Review – Nefarious

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Photo by Mathias Reding

I’ve never been one to enjoy a horror flick. All the jump scares, supernatural happenings and excessive gore are decidedly unwelcome on my movie list. My imagination tends to run rampant after viewing scenes like these and suddenly every little creak in my house is cause for alarm. Of course, as a Catholic, I know that this alarm is completely irrational and I’m often comforted by the fact that a priest has visited and blessed our home. However, the imagination is still on occasion a force to be reckoned with. Thus, I religiously steer clear of horror films and was wary of this one despite it coming highly recommended by the hubby who kindly screened it for me first. After a bit of convincing and promises that he would hold my hand the entire time, I did eventually agree to watch Nefarious. 

This psychological thriller was not at all what I was expecting and one that I think everyone, Catholic or otherwise, should make time to see. This is far from the typical bloody Hollywood depiction of demonic possession. The true horror comes in the shocking doses of reality seeded throughout the fictional flick as psychiatrist, Dr. James Martin, interviews a convicted serial killer hours before his scheduled execution. Over the course of this disturbing conversation the devout atheist doctor is forced to confront impossible coincidences which shake his world view. It quickly becomes apparent that the interviewer may in fact be the interviewee. Throughout the exchange, the killer, Edward Wayne Brady, claims to be a demon and works to convince Dr. Martin that he has been brought to the prison by design and will himself have committed three murders before their time together is up. 

Although the majority of the film transpires in a single room over the course of a single conversation, it’s not one that you’ll be able to pause for a popcorn break. Viewers are held on the edge of their seats for the entire hour and 38 minutes as they follow Dr. Martin’s investigation in which he attempts to answer the question, insane or possessed? Viewers are also left to debate the rational atheist’s qualifications to answer such a question which is sure to spark some interesting discussion when the credits start rolling. 

For current believers, this movie serves as a wake up call through its perfectly horrifying illustration of the battle being waged for a single soul. In an interview with Church Militant, the writers and directors, Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon, described the effect their newest film has had on its Catholic audiences when they said that people are leaving the theater and running to confession. While this is a highly engaging and entertaining watch, it also asks and answers many theological questions which might be barriers for non-christian individuals who are considering coming to the faith. At the very least, Nefarious is causing Catholics and atheists alike to think about what it is they believe and why.  

For my own part, I came away from this movie completely overwhelmed with gratitude to God for coming into my life and purifying my soul through baptism when He did. As often mentioned on this blog, I am a convert to Catholicism. Although in my upbringing I would never have gone so far as to deny the existence of a higher power, my entire childhood was spent blissfully ignorant of the peril my unbaptized soul was under. Thankfully, God blessed me with two amazing parents who, despite being born again Catholics themselves, always instilled generally christian values in my sister and I. I believe it was these values which ultimately guided us both to the faith. Through the holy sacraments of initiation and of marriage, I have been blessed with the graces necessary to continue to turn toward God in all facets of my life and I am eternally grateful to Him for that. Nefarious highlights the urgent need for all people to receive the sacraments and be similarly blessed.

A State of Grace

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Photo by Photo by Arina Krasnikova

Our family is currently celebrating the arrival of a new member. We welcomed a new niece into the world recently and are over the moon to soon meet this beautiful baby girl. In the days leading up to her birth my sister was on a mission, hunting for parishes all over town in search of priests available to administer confession. She was determined to be in a state of grace when bringing her daughter into the world.

What a beautiful gift to their family to know that this new momma was in friendship with God when she gave our parents their first grandchild! On one hand, being recently confessed was a safeguard for my sister, should anything go wrong during the birth. Thankfully, it didn’t and both mother and baby girl are healthy and happy. By ensuring she was in communion with God as much as possible my sister also enabled her daughter to be born surrounded by grace and love. What better way to begin a holy and blessed life? It was the very best running start my sister could give. 

This got me thinking about how often we all run to confession when embarking on a journey or undergoing an important medical procedure. Life is full of risks and of course it’s not feasible to receive absolution from a priest every time we cross the street but it’s certainly something that should always be forefront in our minds as we proceed through life. The Catholic Church requires that its members receive the sacrament of Reconciliation at least once a year but how often on any given day do we turn away from God, even in small, seemingly mundane ways. We need sincere and regular Reconciliation to maintain a state of grace to receive Holy Communion and to be in friendship with Christ. 

My husband and I generally try to make it to confession every couple of weeks and emergency, short notice Reconciliation is rare for us at this point but as Catholics we all ought to leap at the opportunity to renew our relationship with the Lord. We should all run to confession as often as possible even if it means hunting all over town for available priests.

This is Amazing!

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Walking with Jesus in Glenwood Springs

The Holy Spirit is at work in the world, in my childhood home no less! It’s such a blessing to encounter stories like this, especially ones involving the vibrant, gorgeous Colorado town where I grew up. This was a welcome read and I’m sending prayers to the community of St. Stephen Catholic Church that they can continue to walk with Jesus in all things.

I Need My Man

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In a world full of girl bosses intent on shattering that (imagined) glass ceiling the “I don’t need no man” attitude is nearly inescapable. It’s everywhere and often accompanied by some amount of condescending head bobbing and finger snapping. I’ve certainly fallen prey to it in the past. It’s so pervasive in society that it’s even seeped into the hearts of practicing Catholics.

We heard it in our very own Catholic marriage prep while in discussion with current married couples. One woman boasted this logic even as her husband sat beside her. How can you imply that you don’t need a man when the man you vowed to give your life to sits quietly by? What can possibly be his purpose in this arrangement if you’re so perfectly invincible on your own? If this is true, why on earth did you get married in the first place?

Ignoring the implied and overt rudeness which comes with this statement, it’s not a sentiment I share. Of course everyone, regardless of gender, is capable of great worldly success by their own merit. You can do anything you set your mind to if properly driven. As Fr. Mike Schmitz highlighted in his Catechism in a Year series, no human on Earth is half-made. God created us to be complete beings in His image, each a union of the body and soul. But without each other, we are unable to carry out God’s ultimate will for us to “be fruitful and multiply.” Men and women are complements to each other, both equally necessary to share in God’s work of creation.  

Can you honestly say that there is any undertaking in life that would not be improved and made easier by the assistance of a supportive and loving spouse? Are you really so flawlessly competent that you’re better equipped to take on the world on your own than beside a man who has promised to cherish and protect you? We are a society so utterly incapable of admitting our own deficiencies that we would rather spend our lives alone and hurt our loved ones in the process than confess the reality that we might actually need them, that we are in fact better together. 

Yes, I need my man. I’m human, fallen and in need of God’s saving grace. I’m error prone and could have easily been distracted on many occasions from the path to holiness if not for the man walking beside me, and we’ve barely been married a year. I was successful, independent and financially stable before I ever met my husband and my life has become infinitely better since then. It brings me unending relief and joy to follow him as we both journey toward the Kingdom of Heaven.

Why We Chose the Unpopular Wedding Reading

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Photo by Gift Habeshaw

“Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:2) This is a sentence that no modern, strong independent woman wants to hear. These are also the words most often pulled out of the reading and dissected under a microscope. However, if you examine the reading in its entirety you learn about the husband’s side of the bargain.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church.” Christ died for the Church. He suffered every kind of human torment; physical torture, humiliation, betrayal and was crucified out of love for the Church. He made the ultimate sacrifice. Obeying the man I love seems like small change in comparison. I trust my husband completely and would gladly follow him anywhere. I am totally confident that he would never do anything to deliberately hurt or humiliate me. 

Marriage doesn’t mean packing up my hopes and dreams. My husband wants those things for me too, just as I want him to find success and fulfillment in his endeavors. It’s why I chose him. I’m his wife, not his slave. I always try to act in his best interest, not because I don’t love myself, but because I love him more. There are three persons in every Catholic marriage; the husband, the wife and Christ. We are called to love God, to love our spouse and to love ourselves in that order. Typical catholic marriage prep includes six to nine months of learning and discussion with each other and a priest in order to discover one another’s needs as well as potential sources of future conflict. We do this to ensure that all three parties are fully aware and confident in the decision to come together in the sacrament of marriage. 

Living in the service of a spouse isn’t an indignity at all. If done correctly, I believe it’s one of the most beautiful and Catholic things we can possibly do. It’s what Christ was sent to do. “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as ransom for many.” (Mathew 20:28) Christ, the bridegroom came to serve His bride, the Church. Honestly, I can’t imagine a better way to spend the rest of my life than following and serving the man I married. 

A reading from the letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians

Brothers and sisters:
Live in love, as Christ loved us
	and handed himself over for us.

[Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of his wife
	just as Christ is head of the Church,
	he himself the savior of the body.
As the Church is subordinate to Christ,
	so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.]

Husbands, love your wives,
	even as Christ loved the Church
	and handed himself over for her to sanctify her,
	cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
	that he might present to himself the Church in splendor,
	without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
	that she might be holy and without blemish.
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
	but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
	even as Christ does the Church,
	because we are members of his Body.
	     For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
	          and be joined to his wife,
	     and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
	but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.

[In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself,
	and the wife should respect her husband.]

The word of the Lord.

Marriage Etiquette: Don’t Trash Talk Your Spouse

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I don’t believe it’s ever appropriate to bad mouth your spouse whether they’re present or not. I think it’s behavior which reflects more poorly on you than on the husband or wife that you’re complaining about. Why did you subject yourself to lifelong commitment to that person if you find them so tiresome? On your list of priorities, their dignity and well being should certainly come before your own comeuppance for a minor, petty grievance, especially in the case of someone you’ve vowed to love and cherish all the days of your lives.

I’ve heard a number of friends and coworkers verbally degrade their partners on several occasions, all under the guise of good natured ribbing and fun. It’s often even more unsettling to meet the aforementioned partner only to discover that they have nothing but praise for their ill-mannered significant other. You don’t have to agree with everything they say or do. As a couple you should be able to have productive, civil, even compassionate disagreements. I’m not advocating total, stiff formality with your spouse. You need to be able to have fun together and must therefore be equipped with enough humility to laugh at yourselves. That just doesn’t include laughing at each other. 

A Leap of Faith

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

“Are you nervous?” That seemed to be the question on many minds as we approached our wedding day. I heard it even as I waited hidden in the church for my walk down the aisle in our wedding mass (we chose not to do a first look and save the big reveal for the ceremony). My answer was always an enthusiastic and resounding “no.” I’ve always believed that I was made to be a wife and mother, even before I was Catholic. How could I be nervous about taking one step closer to the fulfillment of God’s plan for my life especially when His handwriting covered every page of our love story?

I’ve often told my husband that I couldn’t have dreamed him up. I wasn’t creative enough in my most unhindered fantasies to imagine a more perfect match than the one I found in him. I consider our meeting nothing short of a miracle and many of our big moments since then have occurred on days of special liturgical significance. It’s no coincidence that he chose to attend his parents’ church for the very same Easter Vigil mass where I was to be baptized, confirmed and receive first Eucharist. My husband saw me for the first time in the same hour that I became Catholic. 

It took a few weeks for him to hunt me down and, after another few weeks and many phone calls, we met in person for the first time and our first date to Pentecost mass. Almost exactly one liturgical year later we met again at church to exchange vows in a wedding mass which was concelebrated by no less than three priests. There isn’t a shred of doubt in my mind that this is precisely what God intended. There was no reason for me to be nervous. 

Many modern couples would certainly balk at a courtship of only six months followed by an equally short engagement. However, marrying the love of my life is the most spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally sound decision I have ever made. Truth be told, that six month engagement felt considerably longer as we both eagerly anticipated our wedding vows. It was a leap of faith we couldn’t wait to take.

The Man Who Ruined Dating

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

Although it thrills me to say that I have beat the dating game once and for all and have been happily married for months, the fact is that this stage of life together is still relatively new to both of us. I am still falling head over heels for my husband and there is no end in sight to the days of me gushing about how much I love him. 

I count my blessings every day that I get to spend with the man who single handedly ruined dating for me. Even as a shy awkward teenager when dating meant sitting close together at the lunch table, I hated it. I always wanted to find my person but attracting him seemed a long, confusing, arduous ordeal. I was constantly turning to my mom for advice on what to say and what to do in response to potential love interests. Even after graduating and entering the workforce and adulthood, I was still on the phone with her every time an acquaintance got up the nerve to ask me out. She was my ultimate dating coach while on the hunt for Mr. Right and counseled me to keep my options open, watch out for red flags and, as every good Catholic knows, pray about it. 

When I met my husband things went a little differently. I still called my mom on my way home from our first date but not to ask for advice. I’d just spent an entire afternoon with a sweet, old fashioned, Catholic, dreamy soldier man on the best first date I’d ever had and was over the moon about it. Given my track record of dead end first dates, this was the very last thing I’d expected. 

However, the excitement didn’t peter out over the next few weeks as was always the case with others. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I’d never be able to marry anyone else. His general motto is “I am here to serve” and from the start of our love story it was obvious that he consciously lived by it every single day. In all my life I’d never met anyone like him and I suspect I’m not likely to again. I knew I’d never be able to return to the dating game after meeting him. My only choice from then on was to become the kind of good Catholic woman that could be married to him.

Only upon later reflection did I realize that’s exactly what marriage is all about. We’ll spend the rest of our lives shaping ourselves into good partners for each other.