Wrapped in Mary’s Grace: The Brown Scapular

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My husband and I recently hosted one of our priest friends for dinner which turned out to be an evening of abundant blessings. The three of us chatted over a delicious meal of my husband’s trademark BBQ ribs, rosemary potatoes and corn on the cob. The conversation spanned work, life and of course all things Catholic. Though still not very far along at the time, we were excited to share our news of my recent pregnancy and the Father was happy to celebrate with us.

At one point the conversation also turned to my desire to be enrolled in the brown scapular and without missing a beat, the priest offered to complete the ritual that very evening. As Catholics we do not subscribe to superstitions. The brown scapular is not a lucky charm but a sacramental. It serves as a reminder to us of our love and commitment to God and, through adherence to a particular prayer routine laid out for those called to wear it, we believe we can receive special graces. I think I encountered those graces later that night. After the dessert plates had been cleared away the priest did as promised and enrolled me in the brown scapular, praying over me and blessing the scapular with holy water before I donned it for the very first time.

Later I struggled to fall asleep due to the nausea of first trimester morning sickness and a mind whirling with worries over how best to nurture the baby now growing inside me. It’s funny how easy the fears of first time parenthood come. As I lay in bed, uncomfortable and wide awake watching the hours tick by, I touched the scapular now resting flat against my chest. I thought of the man laying beside me, my living, breathing, miraculous proof of God’s love for us. I thought of our wedding day, the most perfect and blessed day in my memory, not because the guests raved about the food, venue or music choices, but because that was the day that my husband and I were joined to each other and to God in holy and sacramental matrimony. I also thought of the baby we had been praying for for months, now a reality and the source of my newfound discomfort and worry.

What a beautiful life! How blessed I am to suffer these things! No matter how my life and goals shifted throughout the years, motherhood was always at the forefront. Though there are still many months to navigate before we meet our child, God in His infinite love and mercy has blessed me with the fulfillment of my life’s deepest and truest calling. I am a mother. Thank you Lord, for filling the life of this sinner with good things.

Mirrors

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Sometimes it’s easy to look in the mirror and not like the person looking back. The image is always somehow distorted and the lighting is never quite right. Sometimes it’s difficult to recognize ourselves at all but even on these days there is comfort in knowing this is exactly how God made us. Of course, we’re human, imperfect in this life. We are flawed and fallen and ever seeking eternal salvation but, so long as we know that we are also entirely His, there’s a good chance we might just look in the mirror one day and be inspired by the person we see there.

Marriage Etiquette: You’re on the Same Team

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

It’s so easy to slip into bad habits around those who know us best. Often, I catch myself falling into this trap with my husband or when my sister or parents come into town for a longer visit. We know these people will never leave us and there’s some relief in that, being able to release everything that was kept bottled up for the rest of the world with the understanding that we will still be loved by our favorite people. 

While I agree that it’s necessary to be our most honest and genuine selves among those we love, I don’t believe that includes succumbing to our worst impulses. These people are with us for life. They are the ones who raised us, grew up with us, promised to cherish and protect us and walk with us for the rest of our days. They have and will see us at our worst. However, I don’t see any reason to increase the frequency of these occurrences simply in order to vent my own frustrations. 

When we completely let loose we forget to watch what we say. We can fall to nagging our spouses, nitpicking a job well done instead of simply saying thank you. We can be led to bickering in which there’s always a winner and a loser. In the end, do you really want to be married to a loser? Is there any true victory in knowing that you have defeated your spouse, the one person on earth you have been sacramentally called to love and respect all the days of your life? What good is it to have won a petty argument when you’re both on the same team? 

Obviously you’re different people and disagreements will inevitably arise by virtue of there being two brains in the relationship. In these disputes I believe we are called as Catholic married couples to conduct ourselves as civilly and compassionately as possible. As previously stated, this is easier said than done but it is a necessary and worthy endeavor. Too often in society today I think that marriage is treated like a free pass for bad behavior with our spouses and then everyone wonders why divorce rates are so high. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a mean, manipulative, judgemental person who’s always looking to pick a fight?

The reality is that being kind to your spouse actually makes them a better husband or wife. Good manners should never go by the wayside regardless of who you’re talking to. Never underestimate the healing power of a simple “please” or “thank you.” Instead of grilling your husband for all the gory details of his incredibly long and tiresome day at work as soon as he walks in the door, snuggling up with him on the sofa for a few brief moments of comfortable silence can go a long way. Likewise, doing the dishes or replacing a burnt out light bulb before your wife has time to ask is sure to make her feel loved. Lasting love and affection is often not in grand gestures though they certainly have their place. It can also be found in small, everyday kindnesses toward our spouse. 

Blizzard

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If you’ve never been snowshoeing in the mountains in the middle of a blizzard I highly recommend a new adventure, one that is sure to work up an appetite and make the hot cocoa and cookies taste all the better. Even amid stormy skies and howling winds, there is so much joy and beauty to be found in nature which, I believe, is just as God intended.

Christmas Isn’t Over!

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Photo by Kristina Paukshtite

The days after December 25th are always a bit strange. We’ve been hearing carols blaring on the radio since Halloween and engaging in all sorts of special Advent service and preparation for the nativity for months. Despite all of the anticipation for the jolliest time of year, I can’t help feeling a tiny ping of sadness every year when I see the first Christmas tree stripped of its ornaments and tossed out by the curb with the rest of the garbage. On occasion I’ve seen this even before January 1st. 

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, long before my conversion to the faith. I admit that early on, and with a much more secular understanding of Christmas, I was often among those to partake in premature Christmas decoration and celebration. It was always the happiest time of year with my family and I strove to make it last as long as possible. 

Since coming to the faith and marrying my deeply devout husband, I’ve also come to a new understanding of the Christmas season. Contrary to popular belief, it actually begins on December 25th when we celebrate the birth of Christ. In parishes and on front lawns across the world, scenes of the infant Christ in the manger with Mary and Joseph remind us of the humble beginnings of our own salvation. This season extended all the way to January 7th, the Solemnity of the Epiphany and the arrival of the magi to Bethlehem where they paid homage to Christ. 

As previously mentioned I myself annually join in the premature Christmas merry making. My husband and I are working on taking a more liturgical approach to the Christmas season which means not setting the star atop our own tree until Christmas Eve. However, it also means fully embracing the joy of the season for the entirety of the season. We shouldn’t be cutting it short just because old Saint Nick has already come and gone. The Christmas season is first and foremost a devotion to Christ.

The Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God

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Photo by JINU JOSEPH

While the world ushers in the possibilities of the new year, many Catholics take yet another opportunity to reverence Mary. Although January 1st is not officially a holy day of obligation in all countries it is a day in which we celebrate the Mother of God. This is the octave of Christmas, occurring on the day that Christ was circumcised and given His name. On this Catholic feast we remember Mary as she lovingly fulfills her motherly responsibilities to her beloved Son. Christ was fully human and fully divine, the perfect child just as Mary was and is the perfect mother to us all. Don’t forget to pray your rosary today and implore the Holy Mother for intercessions in your life. God always hears and listens to His mother.   

Merry Christmas!

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Although this year has been yet another Christmas spent away from my beloved mountains, this year was not without it’s blessings. The hubby and I had a chance to continue turning our little house into a home as well as share a delicious meal with family. We also began some new Christmas traditions this year which we hope to carry on to future children. Wherever you are, I pray everyone is having a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas Traditions

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Merry Christmas everyone! Whether you’re spending it cozied up with family in front of your favorite version of A Christmas Carol or reminiscing about past Christmases over dinner and eggnog, I pray everyone can celebrate the nativity of Christ surrounded by friends and family and good cheer. Here are some beloved Christmas traditions which my family loves to share every year.

Christmas Tree Hunting – In our house we never had a fake tree. While we all lived in Colorado we would gleefully bundle up, strap on our snowshoes and head out into the chilly mountain winter air in search of the perfect tree. Some years, the tree had a bit of a Charlie Brown quality to it, whether it be a doubled top or an odd bald spot at the back. Sometimes the tree was slightly too skinny or too fat or slightly bent halfway up but these quirks only made us love it more. We could never return home with the tree until we’d engaged in the annual snowball fights and sledding runs and generally wore ourselves out playing in the snow. Once home, we would crowd in the living room in our socks and slippers to decorate the tree while munching on homemade Christmas cookies.

German Christmas Cookies – During our childhood, every year around Thanksgiving we would cram ourselves into my Oma’s tiny kitchen along with all of our aunts, uncles and cousins, to help bake Oma’s legendary Christmas cookies. She always had a sixth sense for when the cookies were done. No timers in her house. Everyone would run for cover if ever someone distracted Oma and the cookies came out burnt. However, these catastrophes were rare and far between and in general, everyone was sent home with huge tins overflowing with our favorite Christmas delights.

The Christmas Puzzle – This is a bit more of an Advent tradition in our family as a partially finished jigsaw depiction of the last supper or the nativity is generally sprawled across our coffee table for the majority of the season. We always work to complete the picture by Christmas which on occasion resulted in my sister and I happily chatting until 2 in the morning to place the last pieces. 

The Feast – While many people are fond of their Christmas turkey, the feast of the nativity has often spanned several days in our house. We loved embracing our Italian and German heritage respectively and there would usually be an evening for each. My sister and I always loved helping to make the annual homemade pasta. One year we even did homemade pretzels to pair with our favorite German beer for an appetizer. On Christmas morning my mom would always have cinnamon rolls and a delicious breakfast casserole hot and ready. 

Go To Church – Even before we were Catholic we would don our Christmas finery to attend church with our extended family. At the time, we mostly went for the music as we were always sure to catch our favorite carols on Christmas Eve. However, having all now made our way to the Church, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning masses are something that I wouldn’t dream of missing. We still get the traditional hymns which are lovely to hear but the mass is so much more than that. Celebrating Christ’s sacrifice on the cross on the eve of His nativity is a profoundly moving experience for me, particularly when the sanctuary is overflowing with fellow parishioners. Some might grumble at the difficulty of finding parking at this particular mass but I love to see all of our fellow church goers, dressed to impress and there to reverence Christ. 

The Gift of Christmas

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In addition to all of the fun family traditions and the brightly wrapped packages under the tree, we should also let Christmas be a time of service to our neighbors. Perhaps that means bell ringing in front of the grocery store or volunteering for a local soup kitchen. Maybe it just means helping the elderly woman who lives next door hang her Christmas lights. Whatever it is, this is one Christmas tradition that your family will not forget.