Mustard Seeds

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Photo by Akil Mazumder

For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. – Matthew 17:20-21

When asked why I converted to Catholicism it’s difficult to pinpoint an exact moment when my understanding blossomed into true belief. I’ve often said that there wasn’t a single instant which led me to the faith but many moments, both big and small, over the course of many years. Upon reflection, I think the first seeds of Catholic understanding in my life were all planted by my two wonderful parents, though we may have all been unaware at the time. 

My very first exposure to Catholic teachings and literature did not come from the Bible. I first heard and fell in love with these teachings through the eloquent writings of JRR Tolkien in his tales of Middle Earth. Bedtime stories were always a must in our house growing up and Tolkien’s were our favorite. Even before any of us were Catholic and well before I myself could read, my dad spent countless evening hours sitting between my sister and I with The Lord of the Rings open in his lap, causing the letters to come alive with his various character voices as my mom sat close by knitting in her comfy armchair. To this day, my sister and I still eat up these stories, epic recounts of the eternal struggle between good and evil and all the rays of light that can still be found in a world falling into darkness. Tolkien’s work is bursting with Catholic messages and imagery.  

My mom also planted slightly more literal Catholic seeds later when I grew up and moved away to Indiana. She gifted me with a small metal crucifix and a tiny car rosary. I was not Catholic at the time and had no intention of coming to the faith but my mom was not deterred. These she hung in my life with care and without my permission, the crucifix rather prominently displayed in the middle of my apartment living room and the rosary dangling from the rearview mirror in my car. Long after she returned to Colorado and left me to my new life in the Midwest, my crucifix and rosary still hung where she’d left them. In part, I was grateful for the prayers which came with them even if I myself didn’t subscribe to the faith they represented. They were little reminders of my mom’s love for me. I also knew that she’d look for them whenever she visited and never had the heart to explain why I’d moved them so they were left as they were, Christ on the cross watching over me wherever I went.  

I would later find myself defending Catholicism during good natured religious debates over lunch with work friends. At the time I knew close to nothing about the faith except what my parents had told me since their return to the Church. I always felt compelled to correct the more blatant anti Catholic arguments on behalf of the two intelligent and loving people who raised me. Now I understand why. Looking back, all of these seemingly insignificant moments were indeed guiding me to the faith, one slow inch at a time. 

Dashing Through the Snow

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Although we aren’t able to make it to Colorado for Christmas this year I’ll always remember fondly chilly days like these. Even if we did return to the house looking like the abominable snowman with ice sickles dripping from our hats, there’s nothing like a romp through the winter wilderness to set the world right again. I feel so blessed to have grown up in a place where hiking truly is an all seasons sport. Snow, rain or shine, with the proper footwear, there’s nothing to stop you from having a little adventure.

Roses for Our Lady

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Though tomorrow is not a Catholic holy day of obligation it is one of the many days on the liturgical calendar during which we honor the Virgin Mary. Today marks the anniversary of the second apparition of Mary to Saint Juan Diego on Tepeyac Hill (now Mexico City). Our Lady had first instructed him to build a shrine there where she could bring comfort to all who visited. This had been met with some resistance by the bishop so Mary told Juan Diego collect roses and present them to the bishop in the dead of winter as proof of her apparition. Juan Diego did this and the cloak (tilma) he used to carry the roses can still be seen in Mexico City today, imprinted with the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

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Today, December 8th, marks the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, an incredibly important Catholic solemnity and one that is a holy day of obligation in the United States. This means we Catholics are required to attend this mass. As it falls during the season of Advent, the preparation for the nativity of Christ, there is a common misunderstanding about who’s immaculate conception we celebrate today. Everyone knows that Christ was conceived by the power of The Holy Spirit to the Virgin Mary. However, today we celebrate the conception of Holy Mother Mary, Queen of the Universe. 

One of the first things that new Catholics learn about the faith is that, as the son of God, Christ was fully human and fully divine and therefore was without sin. This means that Christ never committed a sin during his time on Earth, from His conception to His ascension into Heaven after His resurrection from the dead. Necessarily, this also means that His mother, Mary, was without sin as her Son could not be contained in a place tainted by sin. Mary’s womb was the very first tabernacle in which our Lord resided and thus Mary must also be pure and virtuous. 

This is also one of the explanations for how Mary could remain a virgin while still becoming the mother of Christ. From the moment of her birth, she was chosen to one day become the mother of God and ultimately the mother of us all. This does not mean that she had no choice in the matter. God is all knowing and outside of time. He knew what decision Mary would make when visited by the archangel, Gabriel. However, God also blesses all of humanity with free will and it was Mary’s yes which ultimately led to the salvation of mankind through the birth of Christ and His death on the cross. 

Though she is merely human, Mary is venerated as the ultimate woman. She is the new Eve, the Blessed Mother, Holy Virgin, Star of the Sea and Queen of the Universe. Through her unfailing trust in God, Mary serves as a blueprint of perfect faith, obedience, and femininity. This is why we venerate the Mother of God on this feast day.

Preparation of Advent

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Photo by Ronaldo R&K

Many people, myself included, are enthusiastically getting into the Christmas spirit, decorating the tree, planning gift shopping and of course belting all the usual holiday tunes in the car. Amid the excitement it’s easy to forget that the Christmas season is in fact still several weeks away. Yesterday, December 3rd marked the beginning of the holy season of Advent, a time which is first and foremost dedicated to preparation for the nativity. 

Although in countless households across the world, this preparation likely includes the baking of delicious Christmas cookies and the wrapping of toys and gadgets for family members, this should also be a time of preparation of our own hearts to receive our Lord, Jesus Christ. Our associate priest once aptly termed this time of the year as mini Lent. In addition to the jolly times and good cheer we enjoy with friends and family during the build up to Christmas, it’s also necessary to set aside time for quiet reflection and adoration of Christ. This is also a time of renewed service for many Christians, whether that be through bell ringing in front of the grocery store or by spending the weekends working at the local soup kitchen. Much like during Lent, we can all find ways to give of ourselves a little more this Advent season in a spirit of service toward our neighbors.

One of my favorite ways to embrace this spirit of giving is by helping to orchestrate the weekly Advent adoration and vespers services which have become a tradition at my home parish. The first time I witnessed one of these services I was still unbaptized and in my own process of discernment about the Catholic faith. The beauty and reverence of these evenings were instrumental in softening my heart to later receive Christ through baptism and first Eucharist. As such, I was determined to keep them as a regular Advent and Lent tradition at our church even after our former associate priest originally responsible for organizing the events was assigned elsewhere. These services were my first recognizable encounter with the Holy Spirit and the first time that I truly felt like a member of Christ’s Church. I pray that those in attendance now can receive similar graces this advent season as we all await the nativity of Christ.

The Gift of a Good Confession

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Photo by Sami Aksu

I’ve never been a natural social butterfly and have put forth a concerted effort to develop and maintain passable people skills over the years. I’ll be the first to say that I’m much better in writing and verbal communication has often been a source of tremendous anxiety in my life. I’m the sort of person who googles neighborhood BBQ etiquette and rehearses grocery store checkout small talk in advance. 

As such, I made a similar habit when I first started attending confession after being received fully into the Catholic Church. In my examination of conscience I would write a short script of talking points to bring up in the confessional and would recite the following prayer. “Lord, help me to give a full and honest confession.” In the confession line I would rehearse my lines until my turn arrived. 

While these were all perfectly valid confessions and none of these practices are technically wrong, I often left the confessional feeling like I had somewhat missed the mark and wishing that I had been more articulate. Recently it occurred to me that perhaps this feeling had very little to do with the precise words I said, or failed to say, but that it was instead faith and trust in God that I was lacking. I was trying so hard to give a “good” confession that I forgot the most important part. I asked God to help me every time without truly leaning into His healing power, trusting that He would give me the words I needed.

I’ve since revised my process for preparing for the sacrament of reconciliation. I still write out an examination of conscience, though it’s now a few brief bulleted reminders rather than a full script. I also recite the same prayer but with this addition. “Lord, send your holy spirit to give me the words I need to lay my sins bare at your feet so that I may properly atone for them.” The first time I said this prayer in the confession line I was blessed with a new sense of calm and I ceased my nervous rehearsing. My mind was totally clear when I entered the confessional. It was one of the most honest confessions I’ve ever given. 

I still catch myself slipping into old habits on occasion and obsessing over how to get the words out right. It’s a work in progress but, as I discovered, atonement for our sins and absolution from them is most complete when we truly, totally and faithfully relinquish our human failings to God. Reconciliation is a sacrament, an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. Of course, we need to properly prepare ourselves to receive it with a focused and genuine examination of our past wrongs but then we must give ourselves over entirely to Him.

Blessed November

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After a very surprising and substantial snow on Halloween night which hindered trick-or-treaters from fully flaunting their costumes, Indiana has experienced a bit of a warm spell in November. Although I’m partial to snowy white frozen winters in the mountains, there’s no denying that the Midwest has it’s charms particularly when dressed up in its’ autumn colors. Throughout the month we happily enjoyed crisp afternoon strolls like this one. I pray everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I Aim to Preach

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Photo by David Eucaristía

There is a constant fear among many Catholics today of being too preachy. We all go around walking on eggshells, terrified of coming across too strongly in our faith or upsetting anyone with our trust in the one true God. Even some of the most devoted Catholics have been conditioned to keep their religious convictions out of social and professional settings at all costs. This is a huge disservice to Christ. We are His disciples, called to go out into the world and profess the word of God. This is not to be done in a prideful or overly pious way but it should be done. If we truly believe in the Holy Trinity, that Christ died on the cross for our sins and is ever present in the Eucharist when we go to mass, our mission in life must be to help as many people receive Him as possible. 

If we fully accept those Catholic teachings we also understand the consequences of turning away from God when we sin which is why we so often run to confession. Rather than striving for vast earthly wealth and success, Catholics seek to achieve eternal salvation which is found only in Christ. We all have good in us but we are not all going to Heaven. God created us in His image. Each and every human being on the planet is proof of His miraculous work and love. However, in order to obtain salvation we must fully and freely choose Him and live in accordance with His teachings. We should preach our faith to anyone who will listen to save as many souls as we can while in this earthly life.

Our faith is not reserved for Sunday worship alone. We Catholics should not hide who we are and what we believe from our friends and coworkers. Of course, launching into a full homily every time you’re out to lunch isn’t likely to win many hearts but small, seemingly ordinary invitations can spark a question or conversation that can lead to much more. Perhaps it’s as simple as sharing in your office team meeting that the reason for your upcoming vacation is a trip to visit family for the baptism of a new niece or nephew. Maybe it’s as easy as noting your intention to go to mass when asked about your weekend plans. If you’re feeling especially outgoing you could even extend a formal invitation for friends to join you at that mass. We need only plant small seeds and trust God to do the rest. I believe that going through life with a holier than thou attitude is the mark of a false Catholic just as is concealing our faith among non-believers. In order to truly live out our faith we must do so publicly. It should be obvious to those around us, not because we live with our noses in the air, but by the truth we speak, the modest way we dress and the compassionate things we do everyday to share God’s love.

New Friends at the Farm

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In addition to wooing us with the dazzling Indiana summer greenery and wowing us with countless Colorado Rocky Mountain vistas, sometimes God simply sends us new friends in unexpected places. These pictures were snapped while out to brunch at a local winery. Four Corners Winery, farm turned winery and wedding venue, is home to a number of neighborly farmyard creatures while also serving delicious wine.