Becoming a Crunchy Mom

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

Have you ever been out to eat and seen an infant propped in front of an ipad while the adults chat, blank eyes reflecting the blue light of the screen, mouth agape, totally dead to the world, their trance rendering them completely mute and ignorable? It’s a scene which is far too normal in society today and one that breaks my heart every time. While I’m certainly not the crunchiest of mothers, my husband and I have begun to embrace some old school parenting with our daughter. I don’t make my own clothes (with the exception of some very minor dabblings with knitting) and I haven’t yet hit my canning phase apart from the occasional daydream. 

At this point my husband and I are simply committed to limiting technology for our baby girl. For instance, we don’t let her play with our phones which means we also try to be off of them as much as possible while we’re around her. She takes interest in whatever mommy and daddy are holding so we are trying not to have them in hand too often. Perhaps this is unnecessarily strict but when my husband and I first began talking about starting a family we agreed that we did not want a nanny. That includes the screen nanny. We don’t believe that there is ever a scenario in which kids need to be quiet at all costs. Certainly they need to learn to behave in public but that doesn’t mean they need to stop being their naturally active, playful, chatterbox selves. Baby babble or even the occasional tantrum may be off putting to other business patrons when out around town. In my opinion however, this is still no justification for shutting them up with a screen.

In addition to minimal screen time we are also being very intentional about the toys our daughter is surrounded by, limiting the electronic gadgets in favor of simple mechanical toys. We hope this will help to encourage good, old-fashioned, imaginative play. Too often I think kids simply learn how to punch buttons and engage in perpetual ‘Simon Says’ with an endless stream of flashing, beeping gizmos. I believe kids should instead discover how to make their own fun. In this spirit, we also do daily story time and get outside whenever possible to take full advantage of the ever entertaining great outdoors. I know that my husband and I have been blessed with a very good and happy baby and many parents are not so lucky. These goals may seem impossible or at least ambitious but my husband and I are both immensely grateful to our own parents for filling our childhoods with knee-scuffing adventures. We pray we can impart the same to our children.  

Afternoon Tea

We have officially been back in ordinary time for a number of weeks. The Christmas season has come and gone and with it the mountain of sugary treats on our kitchen table. The hubby and I thoroughly enjoyed celebrating the nativity of Christ with an assortment of cookies, chocolates and other holiday goodies.

However, as we move through the liturgical calendar our hearts and belts are happy to check our sugar intake. We hope this will aid us in maintaining healthy habits as well as guide us to a deeper understanding of Christ through intentional and liturgical living. Therefore, during ordinary time we have resolved to live ordinarily, forgoing desserts and sweets except for feast days or special occasions with friends or family. This also means no afternoon hot cocoa for wifey on chilly winter days. I instead warm myself with a steaming cup of tea in a delightfully hobbit-like fashion. I’m traditionally a coffee drinker and while this is no replacement for that welcome morning beverage I’ve come to look forward to afternoon tea time.

My husband and I have already found our sugar cravings greatly diminished just in these first weeks. Undoubtedly we will be tempted at times to bend our new healthy habits, particularly as we look toward Lent when we will be instituting additional offerings. However, I’m happy to report that afternoon tea has become a welcome treat in its own right.  

Baby Hands

My mom and I have recently embarked on a spiritual journey together. It is currently day eight of Fiat90. These 90 days leading up to Easter are a beautiful meditation and Marian devotion, one I had never heard of until a couple weeks ago when my own mother suggested we try it. Included in this devotion are various forms of fasting, heightened prayer and daily scripture readings. 

My very first day of Fiat90 began as a less than average one. Since the birth of our daughter, I have struggled intermittently with nursing, becoming painfully sore at times. With her first two teeth poking through the gums, this was one of those times. She’s also had some slight sleep regression lately, likely due to her teething discomfort and on top of these mommy troubles, our kitchen sink backed up the evening before Fiat90 was to begin. This made it impossible to do the dinner dishes piled high on the kitchen counter. I was dragging a bit when I sat down to do my Fiat90 readings for the first time. Baby girl decided this was the perfect opportunity to enjoy the mommy jungle gym and kept climbing over my lap, not at all pleased that my attention was temporarily diverted. This was as adorable as it was distracting.

However, when I reached the rosary portion of the prayers, her energy changed completely. She stilled, no longer pulling at my shirt and dragging herself across my knees. She became totally enthralled with my St. Anthony rosary as I worked the beads through my fingers. She was perfectly content to hold the other end gently in her tiny hands as I recited each prayer, seeming to understand that this sacramental was not a chew toy like nearly everything else she touches these days. All my cares from that day and the previous evening fell away as I watched my daughter calmly examine the rosary, exploring it with soft, delicate baby fingers.

A Date With My Man

Over the past year I have generally allowed myself to bask in the joys of motherhood, simply being present and attentive to every giggle and cry from our daughter. I truly love caring for her and filling my days with all things baby related. For the first six months of her life this was as necessary as it was enjoyable. We are turning yet another page in our story. Baby girl is sitting up on her own and even starting to stand. She’s nearly figured out how to crawl and is now content to entertain herself for a few minutes at a time. Through this growing and learning, my husband has patiently accepted my single mindedness without complaint, happy to know that our needy newborn was being tended by her mother. 

Although being singularly focused on our daughter’s care and well being has been an incredible blessing, I was recently reminded of the need for attention among my other relationships as well. In short, it was high time for a day out to reconnect with that rockstar hubby of mine. We are both thrilled to death that I get to be home with our daughter but even in this it is still occasionally necessary to take a break and enjoy a date with the wonderful man I married. My parents were only too happy to give us such an opportunity during our Christmas vacation to Colorado. They sent us out for the morning with two tickets to the Iron Mountain Hot Springs while they savored some long awaited bonding time with their new granddaughter. We spent several relaxing hours soaking in the mineral pools and drinking in views of the river and mountains beside us. 

The maintenance of our marriage with romantic outings like this seems like a no brainer. However, it’s a lesson I must force myself to relearn each and every time we leave baby girl at home. I would gladly spend every waking minute with her if I could, but I also love my husband. Any happily married person can attest to the fact that staying together and loving each other through thick and thin is a constant choice and sacrifice which requires thought and effort. They’re right of course. Our marriage, though still in the shiny honeymoon phase in spite of nearly four years together, is just as deserving of care and attention as our beautiful baby girl. 

Glowing Glenwood Nights

There are many wonders to enjoy during the Christmas season in my childhood home and we were blessed to witness them this year despite an uncharacteristically dry Colorado Christmas. Even though there was no snow to augment the twinkling lights of the Hotel Colorado and the Glenwood Hot Springs Pool we made sure to stroll by both while we were in town. Glenwood lit in its’ seasonal glory was a first for my husband and baby though it certainly won’t be a last.

Sleep Training

After weeks of easy nap times in the crib, a few difficult days can zap mommy’s productivity. How easy it is to flit about the house accomplishing this and that while baby girl snores gently in her room. It’s on the bad days when she cries herself to sleep that I find it nearly impossible to tear my eyes away from the baby monitor. The mommy guilt is ever present as she wails alone. 

Thankfully these are rare occurrences as the hubby and I have been blessed with a very good sleeper. We are determined to keep it that way and thus have resolved to train her to take naps in the crib. Of course, the schedule gets thrown off occasionally with appointments and errands throughout the day. Resetting back into the usual rhythm can take a few more days but blessedly, this little girl loves her naps and is generally happy to take her beauty sleep.