Catholic

God Can Move Mountains

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Many people of faith are fond of this phrase when touting the benefits of sincere prayer and I count myself among them. Life is full of metaphorical mountains which God helps us to conquer through small, everyday miracles. However, in my case, the phrase can be interpreted a bit more literally. Obviously the mountains didn’t actually move but they did move in relation to me when I picked up my life in Colorado and relocated to the Midwest for an engineering job. 

Every time I take a stroll down memory lane and examine all of the choices and happenings in my life up to this point I’m freshly amazed that I landed here; successful, married, in love and just as surrounded by joy and family as I have ever been. Had I chosen any other career I likely would never have left Colorado. Had I refused an internship in Indiana during my Junior summer of college I would never have been offered a full time position here. I wouldn’t have moved halfway across the country away from all of my friends and family and my beloved Rocky Mountains. I probably wouldn’t have had time or cause to seriously consider my core beliefs as a newly graduated and totally independent 21 year old and in turn would not have sought answers in the Catholic church. I wouldn’t have embarked on my journey to faith and I certainly wouldn’t have unknowingly caught the eye of my husband during my Easter baptism as an adult. 

It was that move away from the mountains that shaped the beautiful life I’m living today. Despite my agnostic upbringing, God was always there in every decision I made, guiding me closer to Him. Of course I would have loved to have met my husband years before I did and maximize our time together on Earth but upon reflection, everything happened just the way it was supposed to. It’s very unlikely that we could have connected any sooner than we did and even if we had, I wouldn’t have been the faithful Catholic that I needed to be for my husband. 

Finding God in my search for the perfect spouse was the very last thing I expected but it truly couldn’t have happened any other way. There were no cataclysmic earthquakes or rearranging of continents but every day that I wake up next to my best friend I’m reminded of exactly what God can do; how the mountains moved for me when He brought love into my life.

Aggressively Hospitable

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This is a term my sister and I affectionately coined to describe our wonderful, loving, Catholic mother. Once while my mom was telling me about her day over the phone she said “I couldn’t nap so I made a lasagna.” While this is the single most Italian thing I’ve ever heard her say it also perfectly highlights her unquenchable spirit of giving. She’s constantly hosting dinners for her church friends or sharing a nightcap with one of her local priests. She spends her days dreaming up new ways to draw people to the faith and strengthen her parish community and is never content until those dreams have been fully realized. In short, my mom is aggressively hospitable. 

She has a PR personality that is ever seeking to bring souls closer to the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s an endearing and relentless attitude which I’ve found is widely shared among many Catholic women, mothers in particular. I aspire to be counted among the ranks of aggressively hospitable ladies that are reinvigorating our faith and pray they never run out of steam in their soul saving quest. 

Dating to Courtship: Romance with Intention

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

Finding the love of your life is something that nearly everyone on the planet struggles with at some point. After one too many failed romances or long bouts of no romance at all, it feels like there are no good options left. It’s a difficult cross for anyone to bear and not one that is made easier by society. 

For those wishing to escape today’s hookup culture the alternative is almost as bleak though it usually doesn’t seem that way at the time. I never had any interest in dating around. I hated the idea of having many boyfriends throughout my life and wished only to find one who would eventually become my husband. I suspect that many people have a similar outlook. However, we’ve been conditioned to keep our long term romantic goals to ourselves until we feel we’ve achieved a sufficient level of emotional closeness with the other person for fear of scaring them off or perhaps ending up stuck with the wrong person. We don’t want to come across as too hasty or pushy and this is where I feel our culture has failed us. 

We live in a society of “let’s see how it goes.” It’s common and even expected in many cases to date someone for years in order to discover every little thing about them that might be a barrier to eventual marital vows. But at what point do you pull the trigger? When do you wake up and decide that you’ve seen and learned enough? In the game of “let’s see how it goes” it’s more than likely that one person in the relationship is ready to go to the altar and say “I do” while the other is still just having fun and wondering if something better might yet come along. Some will call me old fashioned but, in my opinion, dating is a waste of time. After investing years of your life and some degree of emotional and physical intimacy into a relationship it’s unlikely that you’ll be willing to simply walk away upon discovering that their dreams don’t align with yours. 

If at any point in the relationship you don’t feel that you can have a frank and honest conversation about your marriage goals, you shouldn’t be with that person. But if dating is a waste of time, how then do you attract your future spouse? The answer; through proper courtship. In this arrangement it is mutually understood and agreed upon in the early days of the relationship that marriage is the intent and that certain intimate activities are to be saved for after the wedding. For many people this sounds like a stuffy practice and a giant step backward in human history. 

However, the reality is that it actually opens the door to true romance while alleviating any confusion about where you stand with potential suitors. It forces both parties to be original and genuine in wooing the other. There’s no added awkwardness which comes with trying to decide how soon is too soon to sleep together. You’re not in it simply to wear the other person down enough that they’ll agree to be intimate. In fact, the opposite is true. From the start of the relationship you begin to develop a team mentality as you both work together and help each other to stay chaste, something that becomes increasingly difficult as feelings grow. You have to get creative and be very deliberate about how you show affection for one another. If you both fully dedicate yourselves to this kind of relationship, you’ll arrive at your wedding with a mile long list of things you love to do together outside the bedroom and you’ll be thrilled to death at the prospect of spending the rest of your life with your best friend.  

Of course, there’s no single path to true love. I know many happily married couples who didn’t take this courting approach in their early days. It’s not the only way to cultivate a healthy relationship and it’s certainly no guarantee that your next first date will lead to marital vows. However, it does cut away all that wasted time spent dating people who don’t share your values. In my experience, courtship is the surest way to start a heart-stopping, wholesome, old-timey, life long romance and friendship. 

Advent: Mini Lent

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Although the weeks leading up to Christmas are a time of twinkling lights and joyous carols, Advent is first and foremost a season of preparation for the coming of Christ. Our associate pastor beautifully reminded us of this in Sunday’s homily when he spoke of Advent as mini Lent. Aside from beloved family traditions like cookie baking and Christmas tree hunting, there are so many ways to give a little more of ourselves this Advent season that can be as simple as going to confession or attending mass during the week instead of just on Sunday. How are you preparing for the nativity of Christ?

Our Lady of Guadalupe

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Today, December 12th, many Catholics celebrate the second appearance of Our Lady of Guadalupe to Saint Juan Diego. Her first appearance occurred three days earlier on Tepeyac Hill where she requested a shrine to be built on that spot to share her love and compassion with other believers. Juan Diego went to the bishop with this instruction but the bishop required a sign  before he would approve construction. Thus Mary appeared again to Juan Diego and instructed him to climb to the top of the hill and gather roses which he then brought to the bishop in the dead of winter as proof of Mary’s apparition. The cloak, or tilma, in which he carried the roses was imprinted with her image which is still venerated by Catholics today. 

The Virgin of Guadalupe was later named the Patron Saint of the Americas. She remains an icon of unconditional love and compassion for Catholics around the world who flock to Tepeyac Hill, now Mexico City, and the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe every year. 

Catholic Daily Dress

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Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

I’ve written on this subject before in the context of the mass but the fact is there is an appropriate dress code for every occasion. Workout clothes are for working out. Pajamas are for sleeping. Jeans and t-shirts are for grubby errands or work around the house. I realize this is a very unpopular opinion in our casual world. I’m not advocating that we walk around in ball gowns and tuxedos all the time but there is a day-to-day standard of dress which we are called to maintain and which is so often disregarded.

How we look says things about who we are. Fashion is not about celebrating ourselves through a grand spectacle but should instead be an outward sign of our inner virtues embraced in Catholic teaching. Cleanliness, modesty, discipline, humility, beauty, poise can all be communicated and practiced through our daily attire. It reminds us to live out our faith in all situations. 

This is an ideal which should be upheld by both men and women. Unless you’re at the beach or on the verge of heat exhaustion there’s absolutely no reason for you to be whipping off your shirt in public, regardless of gender. It doesn’t matter how fabulous your six pack is. In fact, going around town in little more than a sports bra is deeply uncatholic for men or women. It invites scandal by leading others to sin or have sinful thoughts which damages their souls and is in direct conflict with loving thy neighbor.

Likewise, sweatpants or ratty jeans are not appropriate for a day around town. Have you ever noticed how men and women distinguish themselves when getting dressed up for a formal evening event but in the day-to-day routine everyone starts to look the same? This is my second unpopular opinion for the day. Men and women are different. We think differently, we act differently and we ought to dress differently. 

I’m not saying that women can’t throw on a pair of pants in certain situations. I regularly do it myself. But so often ladies underestimate the power of a nice dress and a sensible pair of heels, just as many men are loath to don a button down and a pair of slacks. We were made to complement each other in distinctly feminine and masculine ways. By embracing these traits in ourselves we become better partners to each other. If you are called to marriage and are on the hunt for a virtuous spouse your first step should be to start looking and acting like one. 

I know there are many people who feel that it’s just clothing and it’s what’s on the inside that counts so let me extend this challenge. Do everything in your power to put your best foot forward this week even if it seems like a waste of time. Perhaps nothing will come of it but we are made in the image and likeness of God in body and soul. How might He begin working in our lives if we all started dressing the part?

My Adult Conversion: Skeptic to Enthusiast

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Photo by RODNAE Productions

Of course, with the knowledge that I have now, I wish I’d been more open and willing in my journey to faith but the truth is my investigation into the Catholic Church was initially driven by pride and spite rather than a deep sense of morality. I didn’t begin learning about God out of a desire to know Him better as I suspect is the case for many Catholic converts. 

I began going to church because I wanted to be able to have an educated conversation with my parents about why I was not Catholic. In short, I wanted to be able to better argue my case. I spent my days pondering the faith and trying my best to poke holes in it. Eventually, in addition to attending Sunday mass every week I also began participating in Right of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) at my home parish in order to dive deeper into the scripture and truly understand the Catholic perspective. This was one of the best decisions I could have made at the time as RCIA is designed to educate skeptical non-Catholics like myself as well as guide them through the process of being received fully into the church through the Sacraments of Initiation.

Here there were no silly questions and I was encouraged to voice my concerns and hang-ups about the faith. Each week we dissected the Sunday liturgy to give context to the Bible readings before diving into a group Q&A. Through this process I realized that all of my resistance to the faith could be boiled down to just a few questions which I’ll be discussing on this blog soon. However, on the whole, my values were very much in line with Catholic teachings. I already actively sought to live a generally Catholic life despite my previous lack of formal worship, particularly on topics like marriage, the right to life and Catholic virtues.

During my high school years I sometimes attended weekly mass with my parents and on one of these occasions I took a good look at the people there. I was struck by how similar they seemed to me in dress and mannerisms. Even then I knew that it was a crowd in which I could easily fit in but I would have been doing it simply to make my parents happy. That seemed a poor and dishonest reason to convert to the faith and was quickly dismissed. Years later in RCIA I was hit with the same realization but with a much stronger understanding of the faith. I still generally looked and acted like a Catholic but now had a solid basis for doing so beyond the fact that it was just how my parents raised me. 

I do believe that God intended for me to be Catholic despite the first 21 years of my life that were spent without worship. Although some church teachings were harder learned than others, I’m happy to have had the opportunity to come to the faith as an adult and to truly choose God with my whole heart. 

Marriage: The Bottom Line

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Photo by Rainstorm Photo

It seems that in the current society of pride and coexistence, skepticism for traditional marriage has reached an all time high. It is commonplace to cohabitate for two to five years before even broaching the subject of life long love and commitment. People say that ‘it’s just a piece of paper’ and ‘most marriages end in divorce anyway’ as excuses to not strive for a successful one. Much like having children, marriage is so often likened to a jail sentence.

Of course any legal contract is only as binding as the two parties which have committed to it but that’s not what God intended for this blessed sacrament. In order to encounter the bliss of God’s work through marriage, one question must be answered.

What is the goal of marriage?

The goal of marriage is NOT to have fun or to have financial security. It’s not even to be happy (you or your spouse). All of these things are byproducts of marriage but when boiled down to its core, the goal of marriage is to get your spouse into Heaven. Marriage is constant sacrifice and service but also, I believe, the closest we can get to Heaven on Earth. If you are truly, sacramentally married you can always rest easy knowing that there is a human being out there in the world who has made it their mission in life to ensure your soul enters the Kingdom of God.

Mass Etiquette: Your Best Suit

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

You wouldn’t wear basketball shorts and a t-shirt to meet the king of England would you? Why then is it acceptable to wear such things to mass? 

When you go to mass or Eucharistic adoration you are in the presence of our king, our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The sanctuary is His throne room. It is a great honor to witness and reverence our God and ought to be treated as such. If more people grasped the true weight of the mass, a reenactment of Christ dying on the cross for our sins, I think we’d see more suits in the pews on Sunday. This isn’t your mother’s living room, but the house of God.

In the hustle and bustle of 2022 it’s easy to forget to put our best foot forward when we go to worship. Sometimes it can feel like we’re just checking a box before hurrying off to the next Sunday errand or activity. Imagine how God might speak to you if you slowed down, took the time to make yourself presentable, and actually immersed yourself in worship. We are called to turn to God in all things including how we present ourselves to the world. 

Faith isn’t Taboo

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There always seem to be a couple of subjects that most people shy away from in professional or social situations. Politics and religion are devoutly avoided because you never know who could be listening and of course you don’t want to offend your friends or coworkers. This is, in my opinion, precisely the wrong approach.

As disciples of Christ we are called to do God’s work and spread the good news. We should talk about our faith just as freely as we would a favorite hobby because it’s so much more than a hobby. It’s a lifestyle and a conscious choice that informs everything we do. In every conversation, whether it be at work or at a Saturday potluck, we should always strive to be living examples of Christ for the other person. This does not mean that we have to be preachy or holier than thou. It doesn’t mean that we are on a mission to force our ideas and beliefs down the throats of everyone we meet. Quite the opposite.

We are always called to act in an attitude of service, kindness and compassion toward our neighbor (friends, family, coworkers, random strangers on the street) and to turn toward God in everything we do. This sounds straightforward but can be surprisingly uncomfortable in our modern society. Sometimes it seems nothing short of social suicide to tell people what we believe. However, as with everything in life, practice makes perfect. Here are some small, everyday ways that you can profess your faith without losing your friends.

  • Wear a cross or crucifix
  • Make the sign of the cross and pray before a meal when you go out to eat
  • Pray a rosary when boarding a plane or other public transportation
  • Be honest in office small talk. Share your weekend fellowship or service ministry experiences and your Sunday plans.
  • Invite friends to mass – they might say no but at the very least it’s nice to be invited and there’s always a chance that this is just the invitation they were waiting for.

We might be a little uncomfortable and out of practice when it comes to sharing our faith but we absolutely can and should talk about it. Being Catholic is more than going to church on Sunday or helping with the local soup kitchen or filling up the parish collection basket. We have to go out into the world and proclaim the good news.