Faith Journey

Genuflecting Before the Blessed Sacrament

/ scbilder / 8 Comments

I once heard it said that if Christ were truly present in the consecrated host at mass we would crawl to the altar to receive Him. Of course this is not our practice in the communion line and so a logical person might conclude that the bread and wine we receive at mass is not actually the body and blood of Christ. Indeed, if it were we certainly would handle it with far greater reverence and care. 

As a devout baby Catholic still journeying toward a deeper understanding of Christ, I strongly disagree with the conclusion drawn from this observation but it does shed light on the state of our church, especially when spoken by a child undergoing faith formation. They are told that they ought to love Christ above all else and with their whole hearts. They are instructed to turn to Him in their sorrows and to praise Him for every blessing because we owe our salvation to Him. They are also told in faith formation that through the sacrament of Holy Eucharist, the actual body and blood of Christ, that we can obtain graces in our lives by receiving God Himself. 

This is all true but it would be difficult to believe by simply observing the average lay person at mass, particularly through the eyes of a young person still discovering their faith. We are a society that has forgotten how to show respect for anything. Many of us can’t even stand for our national flag, much less kneel for the cross and our Lord and God. When it comes to public displays of subservience we are more than out of practice. We are downright defiant. We hate the idea of bowing to anyone or anything, even to our creator. Through the gifts and talents He blesses us with we can have incredible agency over our own lives and can easily be drawn into the trap of wondering what we could possibly need Him for. 

What’s more, this attitude of indifference has not gone unnoticed by our younger generations. They are beginning to imitate us, wondering why they ought to care so much when we clearly don’t. If we truly grasped the fullness of God and the sacrifice of Christ on the cross we would fall on our knees. It’s true that many practicing Catholics just don’t know any better, never having been taught the meaning behind all the happenings at mass. But ignorance is no excuse for our societal lapse in proper practice. As baptized members of Christ’s church it is our duty to know and understand its teachings and traditions and to be living examples of Christ.

Next time you go to mass remember to take a knee and solemnly make the sign of the cross before taking your seat in the pews. Genuflect also and make the sign of the cross every time you cross in front of the altar. When approaching the altar, whether as a sacristan, reader or server, always bow deeply in total deference to Christ. In the communion line as you bow before receiving the Eucharist don’t rush. Consider who you are about to receive, the sacrifice He made for you and the grace He will impart through His own body and blood. All these actions may feel awkward or trivial at first but practice makes perfect and we all ought to practice what we preach a little more. You never know who might be watching.

Rebranding “Churchy”

/ scbilder / 13 Comments

I think it’s time we Catholics take back the vocabulary surrounding our faith. When we hear the term “churchy” it’s tempting to wrinkle our noses as if encountering some smelly mystery substance stuck to the bottom of our shoe. That’s how society treats it. Even during our Catholic marriage prep, the couples running the two day discussion showered us with promises that they wouldn’t let the weekend get too “churchy.” It’s Catholic marriage prep. One of its chief purposes is to be churchy.

We are constantly watering down our beautiful, glorious faith in order to make it more palatable to non-believers but this is backwards. We are called to bring souls to the Church, not the other way around. As Catholics everything we do should possess an element of churchiness because our faith is more than Sunday worship. It’s a way of life and informs every decision we make. I refuse to stifle my love of Christ to accommodate the feelings and comfort of someone else. I may not be everyone’s best friend. I may say and do things that some people find upsetting. Many years from now I may not be famous or loved by all but I hope that the people who do know me remember how churchy I was.

Tomorrow Will Take Care of Itself

/ scbilder / 4 Comments

Although I have found my faith and put my trust in God in all things, I still occasionally find myself among the perpetual worriers of the world. In the Bible we read passages like the one of Lazarus and the rich man who enjoyed all manner of earthly pleasures while ignoring the plights of others.

Every now and again I can imagine parallels between myself and the wealthy man. Of course I try to be generous with my time, money and talents but there’s always more that could be done. I grew up in a beautiful home and thanks to my two loving parents, the majority of my childhood was spent without a care in the world. Even on my bad days, I always had everything I could possibly need. I feel unbelievably blessed to have parents who were so wholly dedicated to my health and happiness. As I’ve said previously on this blog, I was convinced that I was the luckiest kid on earth. 

Of course, life has hardly been a breeze every day but on the whole, my trials have been relatively small thus far. Sometimes I struggle to keep my mind from wandering to those far less fortunate than me, people who face great loss or pain in their lives. These are two things that I’ve yet to encounter and I wonder if I’m up to the task. It’s easy to start asking questions of “what if” and worrying over what terrible crosses I’ll be asked to bear before all is said and done. 

But God knows our hearts and our abilities. He doesn’t give us more than we can handle even if it is occasionally more than we envision ourselves capable of. We are not called to worry over what might happen tomorrow. We are simply tasked with bearing the crosses of today. He reminds us of this in Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body… Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.”

God Can Move Mountains

/ scbilder / Leave a comment

Many people of faith are fond of this phrase when touting the benefits of sincere prayer and I count myself among them. Life is full of metaphorical mountains which God helps us to conquer through small, everyday miracles. However, in my case, the phrase can be interpreted a bit more literally. Obviously the mountains didn’t actually move but they did move in relation to me when I picked up my life in Colorado and relocated to the Midwest for an engineering job. 

Every time I take a stroll down memory lane and examine all of the choices and happenings in my life up to this point I’m freshly amazed that I landed here; successful, married, in love and just as surrounded by joy and family as I have ever been. Had I chosen any other career I likely would never have left Colorado. Had I refused an internship in Indiana during my Junior summer of college I would never have been offered a full time position here. I wouldn’t have moved halfway across the country away from all of my friends and family and my beloved Rocky Mountains. I probably wouldn’t have had time or cause to seriously consider my core beliefs as a newly graduated and totally independent 21 year old and in turn would not have sought answers in the Catholic church. I wouldn’t have embarked on my journey to faith and I certainly wouldn’t have unknowingly caught the eye of my husband during my Easter baptism as an adult. 

It was that move away from the mountains that shaped the beautiful life I’m living today. Despite my agnostic upbringing, God was always there in every decision I made, guiding me closer to Him. Of course I would have loved to have met my husband years before I did and maximize our time together on Earth but upon reflection, everything happened just the way it was supposed to. It’s very unlikely that we could have connected any sooner than we did and even if we had, I wouldn’t have been the faithful Catholic that I needed to be for my husband. 

Finding God in my search for the perfect spouse was the very last thing I expected but it truly couldn’t have happened any other way. There were no cataclysmic earthquakes or rearranging of continents but every day that I wake up next to my best friend I’m reminded of exactly what God can do; how the mountains moved for me when He brought love into my life.

My Adult Conversion: Skeptic to Enthusiast

/ scbilder / 5 Comments
Photo by RODNAE Productions

Of course, with the knowledge that I have now, I wish I’d been more open and willing in my journey to faith but the truth is my investigation into the Catholic Church was initially driven by pride and spite rather than a deep sense of morality. I didn’t begin learning about God out of a desire to know Him better as I suspect is the case for many Catholic converts. 

I began going to church because I wanted to be able to have an educated conversation with my parents about why I was not Catholic. In short, I wanted to be able to better argue my case. I spent my days pondering the faith and trying my best to poke holes in it. Eventually, in addition to attending Sunday mass every week I also began participating in Right of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) at my home parish in order to dive deeper into the scripture and truly understand the Catholic perspective. This was one of the best decisions I could have made at the time as RCIA is designed to educate skeptical non-Catholics like myself as well as guide them through the process of being received fully into the church through the Sacraments of Initiation.

Here there were no silly questions and I was encouraged to voice my concerns and hang-ups about the faith. Each week we dissected the Sunday liturgy to give context to the Bible readings before diving into a group Q&A. Through this process I realized that all of my resistance to the faith could be boiled down to just a few questions which I’ll be discussing on this blog soon. However, on the whole, my values were very much in line with Catholic teachings. I already actively sought to live a generally Catholic life despite my previous lack of formal worship, particularly on topics like marriage, the right to life and Catholic virtues.

During my high school years I sometimes attended weekly mass with my parents and on one of these occasions I took a good look at the people there. I was struck by how similar they seemed to me in dress and mannerisms. Even then I knew that it was a crowd in which I could easily fit in but I would have been doing it simply to make my parents happy. That seemed a poor and dishonest reason to convert to the faith and was quickly dismissed. Years later in RCIA I was hit with the same realization but with a much stronger understanding of the faith. I still generally looked and acted like a Catholic but now had a solid basis for doing so beyond the fact that it was just how my parents raised me. 

I do believe that God intended for me to be Catholic despite the first 21 years of my life that were spent without worship. Although some church teachings were harder learned than others, I’m happy to have had the opportunity to come to the faith as an adult and to truly choose God with my whole heart. 

Can Non-Catholics Go to Mass?

/ scbilder / 2 Comments

Of course! Everyone is welcome to attend Catholic mass. The word ‘Catholic’ quite literally means all embracing used to describe the universal church. Here all are able to witness the mass with the only caveat that you refrain from receiving the Eucharist until being fully initiated into the church through Baptism and First Communion. Attending a service for a faith to which you don’t belong can feel very daunting and awkward but, in this church, all people belong. 

Growing up, I always allowed myself to be dragged to church on the holidays to make my parents happy but never gave much thought to the meaning behind it. Even after moving away from my family I started attending church on Sunday for investigative reasons rather than moral ones. I knew that there had to be some higher power at work in the world and thought that the Catholic church was a fine place to begin my search for answers. I had no intention of converting to the faith at the time. In part, I simply wanted to be able to have an educated conversation with my parents about why I opted to not be Catholic. 

My first few weeks at mass were hardly comfortable. Without my parents beside me to lead me along in the various readings and prayers I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I struggled to navigate the hymnals and worship aids. I never knew when to stand or sit or kneel and was constantly watching out of the corner of my eye to see what my fellow church goers did. I made sure to always find a seat toward the back of the massive sanctuary so as not to be noticed too much if I made a mistake. 

Of course, the people around me were nothing but welcoming. More than once, the parishioner next to me sensed my nervous, new-comer ways as I frantically flipped through the missal in search of the day’s Gospel reading. They would smile warmly and lean in to kindly direct me to the correct page. 

My nerves would always peak as everyone stood and filed up to the altar to receive communion toward the end of every mass. This was one activity in which I could not participate as I had not yet received my sacraments of initiation. I watched, self consciously, feeling as if all eyes were on me as I waited for people to return to the pews. 

However, I soon realized that no one was looking at me as I quietly witnessed the mass every Sunday. There were no disapproving stares turned my way and no furtive whispers as I came and went from mass every week. Although people were happy to help when discovering an uneducated, baby Catholic in the making, the truth was that people were generally not paying attention to me at all. They were not there to judge or gossip. They had come to church to reverence Christ and participate in the sacrament of holy Eucharist. 

Despite my lack of knowledge of the logistics of the mass I never felt unwanted and there has never been a time since then that I considered not attending Sunday mass. I quickly grew comfortable with going to church and even began to look forward to it. I always loved being read to since before I myself could read. The Lord of the Rings was a particular favorite bedtime story that my dad read to my sister and I when we were little. Even though I’m still learning my Bible, mass occasionally recalled some of those childhood moments curled up next to my dad with the huge fantasy novel open in his lap. 

I enjoyed learning the historical context behind the readings each week in the homily and was soothed by the voices of canters leading the assembly in musical prayer. It would be many months before I openly admitted my desire to be fully received into the Catholic church but even in those first weeks at mass, God was calling me home.