Holy Sacraments

Baptized on Holy Ground

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I am officially a godmother! We recently returned from a weekend trip to Colorado where we gathered with friends and family to witness the baptism of our beautiful baby niece in an incredibly reverent and holy Catholic mass. Since the minute she was born, this little girl has been surrounded by grace. Her mother was very recently confessed at the time of her birth, ensuring that this baby was born from the womb of a woman in friendship with God. One of their very first outings as a family was to mass, a weekly ritual in which this sweet infant has been in regular attendance ever since. When we all met in Colorado for her celebration, it was clear that her entrance into the Catholic Church was also especially blessed. 

The baptism was held at St. John Vianney Theological Seminary in Christ the King Chapel in Denver, CO. This is one of two seminaries in the state of Colorado and complete with all the beauty one would expect to find on such holy ground. Entering this sacred space, my thoughts turned to all the holy men who had prayed here. In fact, it is said that the architect who designed the seminary was not a Catholic when he began, but after doing the research to ensure it was a liturgically-correct design, he was converted to the Church founded by Jesus Christ upon its completion. 

Saints rendered in exquisite stained glass silently watched the proceedings from beneath graceful stone arches and vaulted ceilings. Our niece was baptized in holy water before a stunning gold and marble altar. Here, in this sacred space where priests are made, one baby girl was welcomed into the Lord’s protection in a full baptism mass. This singular ceremony was a tremendous gift from the presiding priest, a formator at the seminary. He is also  the man who had walked my sister and her husband through RCIA and welcomed them into the Church and joined them together in holy matrimony just two years  ago. Now, all three of them met again to celebrate the fruit of that conversion and union. 

For her part, our sweet little niece dozed soundly in her mother’s arms throughout the entire mass, perfectly at ease in the Lord’s house. She didn’t even make a peep when the cool holy water of baptism was poured over her tiny head, as if somehow conscious of the Lord’s perfect love and mercy washing over her. Her tiny angelic face was untroubled as she received her passport to Heaven before an assembly of smiling grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, and of course the cloud of witnesses celebrating the inauguration of a new member to the faith of Christ.

A Baby Catholic’s Movie Review – Nefarious

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Photo by Mathias Reding

I’ve never been one to enjoy a horror flick. All the jump scares, supernatural happenings and excessive gore are decidedly unwelcome on my movie list. My imagination tends to run rampant after viewing scenes like these and suddenly every little creak in my house is cause for alarm. Of course, as a Catholic, I know that this alarm is completely irrational and I’m often comforted by the fact that a priest has visited and blessed our home. However, the imagination is still on occasion a force to be reckoned with. Thus, I religiously steer clear of horror films and was wary of this one despite it coming highly recommended by the hubby who kindly screened it for me first. After a bit of convincing and promises that he would hold my hand the entire time, I did eventually agree to watch Nefarious. 

This psychological thriller was not at all what I was expecting and one that I think everyone, Catholic or otherwise, should make time to see. This is far from the typical bloody Hollywood depiction of demonic possession. The true horror comes in the shocking doses of reality seeded throughout the fictional flick as psychiatrist, Dr. James Martin, interviews a convicted serial killer hours before his scheduled execution. Over the course of this disturbing conversation the devout atheist doctor is forced to confront impossible coincidences which shake his world view. It quickly becomes apparent that the interviewer may in fact be the interviewee. Throughout the exchange, the killer, Edward Wayne Brady, claims to be a demon and works to convince Dr. Martin that he has been brought to the prison by design and will himself have committed three murders before their time together is up. 

Although the majority of the film transpires in a single room over the course of a single conversation, it’s not one that you’ll be able to pause for a popcorn break. Viewers are held on the edge of their seats for the entire hour and 38 minutes as they follow Dr. Martin’s investigation in which he attempts to answer the question, insane or possessed? Viewers are also left to debate the rational atheist’s qualifications to answer such a question which is sure to spark some interesting discussion when the credits start rolling. 

For current believers, this movie serves as a wake up call through its perfectly horrifying illustration of the battle being waged for a single soul. In an interview with Church Militant, the writers and directors, Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon, described the effect their newest film has had on its Catholic audiences when they said that people are leaving the theater and running to confession. While this is a highly engaging and entertaining watch, it also asks and answers many theological questions which might be barriers for non-christian individuals who are considering coming to the faith. At the very least, Nefarious is causing Catholics and atheists alike to think about what it is they believe and why.  

For my own part, I came away from this movie completely overwhelmed with gratitude to God for coming into my life and purifying my soul through baptism when He did. As often mentioned on this blog, I am a convert to Catholicism. Although in my upbringing I would never have gone so far as to deny the existence of a higher power, my entire childhood was spent blissfully ignorant of the peril my unbaptized soul was under. Thankfully, God blessed me with two amazing parents who, despite being born again Catholics themselves, always instilled generally christian values in my sister and I. I believe it was these values which ultimately guided us both to the faith. Through the holy sacraments of initiation and of marriage, I have been blessed with the graces necessary to continue to turn toward God in all facets of my life and I am eternally grateful to Him for that. Nefarious highlights the urgent need for all people to receive the sacraments and be similarly blessed.

Free from Regret or Free from Sin

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Photo by MART PRODUCTION

I spent most of my life believing that the secret to happiness was to lead a life of no regret and fully dedicated myself to that cause. There is a lesson to be learned from every mistake and I’ve made plenty of those. I explained away each and every one of them by extracting a nugget of truth from the experience and carrying it with me through all of my endeavors. This is a useful practice and I highly recommend it to maintain a solution oriented lifestyle. 

However, a life of no regret is not necessarily a life without sin. I was convinced that guilt was a useless emotion. So long as I learned from my blunders I felt free to move on from them. In this way I often successfully refused to acknowledge any shame I might feel for those things that I wish I’d done differently. 

It wasn’t until I became Catholic that I realized the error in my thinking. Everyone knows that the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. This was the critical missing piece of the puzzle that only Catholic reconciliation could drive home to me.

Even after fully embarking on my journey to faith, I questioned the merits of Catholic confession. I’m no saint but I always considered myself a generally intelligent, compassionate, good person and God is all knowing. He knows my heart. Why then would I have to divulge my wrongdoings to some priest who may or may not know me when I could simply offer my sins directly to God?

The first answer is the simplest one. During confession the priest acts in persona Christi. In Latin this means that he is acting “in the person of Christ.” By confessing my sins to him I am confessing directly to Christ and God himself. However, this only answers part of the question. It gives the ‘how’ but I still wondered why.

It’s easy enough to doll out the words “I’m sorry” when we know we’ve made a mistake or as a means of avoiding conflict. They can even become automatic in an effort to be polite to those around us. But in order to truly be absolved of our sins we must first feel remorse for them. A hurried apology on our way to the next activity doesn’t cut it when seeking God’s forgiveness. The act of sincerely seeking atonement for our wrongs helps us to be worthy to receive it. Thus I discovered the use for guilt. Only when we grasp the weight of our mistakes are we properly motivated to seek forgiveness and to strive to do better.

But even a sincere apology to God Himself does not absolve us of our sins. Catholic reconciliation is not complete until we have performed a penance. We offer some action of atonement to God in reparation for our sins. It is an assurance of our commitment to turn away from sin in the future and turn instead toward God in all things. We’re only human after all, flawed and fallen and ever seeking God’s grace. In the blessed sacrament of reconciliation and all other sacraments that we celebrate in the Catholic church, we can be granted that grace on Earth.

I’ve never been so motivated to better myself than when I first allowed regret to color my life. In many ways I did a complete 180, upending the status quo and rewriting my core views of the world. I’ve also never been so relieved and full of joy as I was when I finally realized how God is divinely merciful, loving and forgiving us in all of our brokenness, including mine. We aren’t meant to wallow in shame but we are meant to feel it and to do something about it.