In a world full of girl bosses intent on shattering that (imagined) glass ceiling the “I don’t need no man” attitude is nearly inescapable. It’s everywhere and often accompanied by some amount of condescending head bobbing and finger snapping. I’ve certainly fallen prey to it in the past. It’s so pervasive in society that it’s even seeped into the hearts of practicing Catholics.

We heard it in our very own Catholic marriage prep while in discussion with current married couples. One woman boasted this logic even as her husband sat beside her. How can you imply that you don’t need a man when the man you vowed to give your life to sits quietly by? What can possibly be his purpose in this arrangement if you’re so perfectly invincible on your own? If this is true, why on earth did you get married in the first place?

Ignoring the implied and overt rudeness which comes with this statement, it’s not a sentiment I share. Of course everyone, regardless of gender, is capable of great worldly success by their own merit. You can do anything you set your mind to if properly driven. As Fr. Mike Schmitz highlighted in his Catechism in a Year series, no human on Earth is half-made. God created us to be complete beings in His image, each a union of the body and soul. But without each other, we are unable to carry out God’s ultimate will for us to “be fruitful and multiply.” Men and women are complements to each other, both equally necessary to share in God’s work of creation.  

Can you honestly say that there is any undertaking in life that would not be improved and made easier by the assistance of a supportive and loving spouse? Are you really so flawlessly competent that you’re better equipped to take on the world on your own than beside a man who has promised to cherish and protect you? We are a society so utterly incapable of admitting our own deficiencies that we would rather spend our lives alone and hurt our loved ones in the process than confess the reality that we might actually need them, that we are in fact better together. 

Yes, I need my man. I’m human, fallen and in need of God’s saving grace. I’m error prone and could have easily been distracted on many occasions from the path to holiness if not for the man walking beside me, and we’ve barely been married a year. I was successful, independent and financially stable before I ever met my husband and my life has become infinitely better since then. It brings me unending relief and joy to follow him as we both journey toward the Kingdom of Heaven.