I am currently discovering, as every new mother has, the necessity of no expectations. I keep no daily to do lists or agendas. There’s no set time in which I will accomplish any particular task. Unlike the five second tick tock snippets of seemingly put-together stay at home moms touting pleasant and strictly regulated routines of balanced breakfasts, full workouts and easy nap times, my life is not so structured. 

Of course there are events throughout the day which reliably occur, breakfast and story time while baby girl babbles on her playmat for instance. However, the time and duration of these occurrences is always a gamble. There simply is no knowing when I might get a spare moment to tidy the house or send an email or run an errand and thus, there is no to do list, just a few things I might get done if time allows. 

This is a reality I’m still coming to terms with as I am traditionally a planner. I like making lists and scratching off a few items everyday. Checking nothing off can feel like a step backward. However, since the birth of our daughter, I’ve learned to swallow that disappointment. Wasting time beating myself up over all the things I failed to do is of no use to anyone, especially with an exhausted hubby always slightly sleep deprived from night shifts at work. 

Difficult though it may be at times, I am often called to drop all expectations for the day in order to be a warm and helpful support to him and our needy infant. This is one of those small crosses of stay at home motherhood which I am learning to embrace. After a long night at work for my husband or a sleepless afternoon with a gassy baby, it’s down to me to be the sunshine in our home. Of course I have bad days but this is the role I strive to fill for my family.